#14 The Girl With The Yellow Kite

What happens when your boyfriend eats faster than a cheetah can run? What if your girlfriend wants to move in right next to you? We have the answers to even the most ridiculous and out there stories. Join Caleb and Stefan on this weeks episode to tackle more of the weirdest dating stories you've ever heard. 

Send your stories to Digitalfirepodcast@gmail.com 

You can now send fan mail through the link. You can use this for fan service or to write or even call in your stories.

Follow Stefan on twitch: https://m.twitch.tv/stefmastr_gaming?desktop-redirect=true

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back, everybody, to the Digital Fire Podcast. It's Caleb. And Stefan. And we need to cold one with the boys.

SPEAKER_04 0:12

Oh, not in sync. Oh, not in sync that time. Well. Caleb, what uh flavor Arizona TV.

SPEAKER_00 0:26

This week I am drinking Ariz Arizona Rizzlerberry. With the uh Rizzler kid on the cover.

SPEAKER_04 0:36

Side note real quick. Do you mind turning down my microphone? Or not my microphone, but Lizzie.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Yeah, I gotta figure out yours are I think channel two. Channel two. Turn it down. Let me know when I should stop. Is it getting quieter?

SPEAKER_04 0:48

Yeah, there we go. That's good. It was just a little loud. I was like, Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

They they did him dirty on this can.

SPEAKER_04 0:55

I know they just look so gross. The double chins really speak a thousand languages, you know? The cucumber is really not. I have a cucumber green. It's actually really it's very cucumbery. Obviously, being cucumbery. Is it overpowering? Not really. It's like it did you just go mm? Yeah, I did. Yes, I did. Yeah, it's not that bad, actually. Like it's like you can definitely taste cucumber, but like it's a nice blend of green tea and cucumber at that point. So I'm like, dang, dude. This is nice. Sounds nice. Yes, it is. How how's the the ri Air Rizzona? The Rizzlerberry. It's it's pretty good. Did you see the can? What it actually says for Arizona?

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Yeah, the two Z. Yeah. Arizona. Airzona. They should have capitalized, like did the R capitalized too.

SPEAKER_04 1:52

I want to try the um what one is it? It's like a cream soda uh drink that they have.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

Arizona? Yeah, Arizona has. They might as well become a soda company at this point. Like, this is more soda-y than it is tea.

SPEAKER_04 2:05

Yeah, I didn't really care for it when I first drank it, but I'm like, okay, it's whatever. Because I bought like three before and I was like, I don't want to waste it. So I bought like three, and I was like, crap, I gotta drink it. And then I was like, oh, I can give these out to some people at work. So it's not bad. It's definitely not my first choice. But like, if it's been like a while since I had one, I was like, eh, screw it, I'll buy one.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Yeah, like it's not bad. I wish they would just fully carbonate it. I don't like that it's lightly carbonated, it makes it taste almost flat.

SPEAKER_04 2:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

Whereas if they did full carbonation, it would be, I think it'd be better. Probably. But it is an iconic logo.

SPEAKER_04 2:44

Yeah, it's not bad. It's funny. Yeah, and then they had see, and one I'm scared of trying is the spicy Arizona tea. Why are you scared? Because I don't know how like it doesn't it to me, it sounds like it's gross because it's like, how can you drink the whole point of drinking something is to cool you down. Like it's not meant to be spicy, you know what I mean? Unless it's like whiskey to a degree, like where it burns. That's kind of like how I feel like it would be is it would burn going down. So it's like, so am I just would I I just rather get a spiked Arizona at that point.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

Arizona has spiked drinks now too. Yeah, they have spiked ones.

SPEAKER_04 3:22

Yeah, they have green mango, lemonade, and uh watermelon as their four.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Dang, that's wild.

SPEAKER_04 3:30

Yeah. Uh the green tea is probably the worst. The watermelon is not that bad. The mango is really good, and then the lemonade is like it's it's like not bad, but it's actually pretty good. It's like a weird line where it's slightly above like not good, not bad. Yeah. But it's like more good than bad. But definitely the mango and the watermelon are by far top notch.

SPEAKER_00 3:55

I'm sure the spicy ones wouldn't be that bad.

SPEAKER_04 3:57

Probably not. I just need to like where can you get them?

SPEAKER_00 4:00

I want to try one.

SPEAKER_04 4:01

You can get them at I know the liquor store I go to for my these Arizonas, like I get them and they always have them. Um like their whole, they got like a shelf or they got like two shelves. They got like warm ones and then they have the ones in the cooler. Um, otherwise, I want to say, like, I don't think Meyer or anybody has them like that.

SPEAKER_00 4:21

Yeah, it seems like Arizonas are mostly sold at gas stations.

SPEAKER_04 4:24

Yeah, for the most part. Like, yeah, because I can't say I've seen like I've seen like the 12-pack mini ones at Meijer that you get like in a case like pop per se, but not like the tall boys like here. I think it's mainly a gas station or whatever. Probably like uh what was it called? Come and go, but now it's like called Casey's or something. Yeah, yeah. They had a ton of Arizona, they have a like a blue snowball, it's called can't imagine why the other company went out of business.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

I know, right?

SPEAKER_04 4:52

Crazy. But no, they had like a blue snowball one that was like really good. Um, and they still have it at like Casey's now.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

It's oh my gosh, it's like a well it sounds like I'm gonna have to make a trip to a gas station and get these flavors. You're gonna have to, dude. Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 5:07

It's nice. It is nice. It's a peace tea. So it's like one of those uh teas or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 5:12

Oh, it's not Arizona.

SPEAKER_04 5:13

Well, it's it's Arizona, but it's like their their other brand of Peace T Arizona.

SPEAKER_00 5:19

Oh, they make Peace T? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_04 5:22

Yeah, it's like they're like, I don't know, like how they have Coca-Cola has like other like knockoff, even though it's their brand. Yeah. Like they have their own knockoff version, and that's Arizona tease knockoff. Is the PC thing.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

I guess you learn something new every day. I like how there's a little like emoji of the Rizzler on the top of the can. Finding more and more stuff.

SPEAKER_04 5:54

I know, right? I decided to get at least one more swig of the cucumber.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

Heck yeah. Alright, shall we get started? Yes, we shall.

SPEAKER_04 6:01

But before that, we have to jump in.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

All right, number one. Hey, I was so happy when I started seeing the notification for this podcast to come back. I listened to you guys a while back and always wondered what happened. So welcome back. We died. Uh yeah, we died and we have came back. We're back now. Anyway, I just wanted to talk about a semi-issue with my boyfriend.

SPEAKER_02 6:31

Oh he The unison of uh-oh.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

He tends to eat faster than anyone I've ever known in my entire life. I'm in no way saying that I'm going to break up with him, but I would like some input on how to go about the situation. Like last week, we went out to a restaurant and we ordered our food. It's our favorite place to go. It's called Lloyd's Lobster Landing.

SPEAKER_04 6:59

Lloyd's Lobster Landing? I feel like it's like a Mr. and Mrs. Crab where it's like a seafood boil or something like that.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Have you ever been there, Mr. and Mrs. Crab?

SPEAKER_04 7:07

Twice.

SPEAKER_00 7:08

Is it good?

SPEAKER_04 7:08

It's expensive, but it's really good. Is it? Yeah, like so. Me and John and Tori all went, like, after I moved in, they were like, Yeah, let's do something nice for them or whatever. They took me. It was over $150 for all three of us. And we all three got seafood boils. And oh my gosh, like my gut, I have never been more bloated in my entire life, but it was so worth it. Like, because they give you, like, literally, it's like you get shrimp, crawfish, you can get a lobster tail, uh, hard-boiled eggs, red potato. They're they lather everything in butter.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

Stefan, I haven't had dinner yet. You're making me hungry. But it's so good. That sounds good.

SPEAKER_04 7:50

Snow crab and king crab leg and all these other things that you can get for it.

SPEAKER_00 7:54

And it's like, I've never had crab leg.

SPEAKER_04 7:56

It oh my gosh, it's good. Is it? Yeah, it's it's fantastic. And the one thing, oh I love crawfish. Like, whenever I've gone to like either like a like a what do you call it, a Japanese like buffet or whatever. Yeah. One of those, like Tokyo Roadhouse or whatever, and they have crawfish. I'm like, bro, I'll just get a separate plate alone of just crawfish that are so good.

SPEAKER_00 8:21

I would have never thought those would be good.

SPEAKER_04 8:22

Neither did I. I didn't like them because of their eyes. Creepy.

SPEAKER_00 8:26

Oh, I don't want to, yeah, that would be.

SPEAKER_04 8:27

Well, like, because I mean, obviously they deep fry them or whatever they do, you know, or boil them. Yeah. And then it's like you're supposed to like it's not really bad, but like you you peel it apart slowly because most of the meat's in the tail area. Yeah. So you like kind of twist and pull, and then you like just try to get all the meat out of the tail. That's where everything's at. So, but it's just like the fact I was like, bro, it's still got its antennas and eyes and everything on there. I'm like, oh, that's so creepy.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

Yeah, that would creep me out.

SPEAKER_04 8:59

Yeah, it's still good though.

SPEAKER_00 9:00

The one thing that I've had that's like a shellfish is well, I've had shrimp, but who hasn't? I've had lobster. Oh, yeah. Lobster in in Maine when I went to Maine, and it's just so good there. They like put it on a bun, and then obviously, like you said, covered in butter. Oh, no, I'm hungry. Yeah, it's so good. All right, so they went, they go to a place called Lloyd's Lobster Landing. As you guessed, they spash specialize in lobster and seafood. You were right. We are semi-regulars, so some of the staff knows us well enough. My boyfriend usually gets some type of lobster roll, but it's almost as if they set it down and within seconds it's gone. I feel like I've barely touched my food, and he's just waiting for me to get done with it. He's a growing boy. Yeah, they didn't say age, so like who knows? Are these people 18? Right. We don't know. You know, I'm st I consider myself a growing boy still. I mean, same here.

SPEAKER_04 10:04

I'm just growing sideways, not.

SPEAKER_00 10:09

Yeah, me too. On multiple occasions, whether the waiter knows us or not, they'll say something along the lines of must have been good, or I was gonna ask how everything is tasting, but now I have to ask how everything tasted.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

You know what this reminds me of?

SPEAKER_04 10:28

Imagine like the waiter coming up. Have you seen that news clip of like the fat kid that's sitting down and goes, like, yeah, I'm getting bullied at school because I'm fat? And he goes, Well, what kind of names do they call you? Like porky, yeah, butterball.

SPEAKER_03 10:40

Yeah, butterballing, just imagine the waiters.

SPEAKER_04 10:43

I was gonna ask how everything is, but how was everything porky, butterball?

SPEAKER_00 10:50

Uh oh my god. I uh I relate to this guy because I've been known to eat really fast. Like if I like something, oh yeah, I will just eat it so fast, just devour it. Yeah, I've been on dates in the past before where the girl has actually said, Wow, you inhaled that. Kind of kind of made me like a little embarrassed, but like, but I mean hey, if it's good, you know. Yeah, it's like I just can't stop eating it because it's so good.

SPEAKER_04 11:23

Right.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

I just yeah, and it's always like the first bite that's the best.

SPEAKER_04 11:27

Oh, it's like very savory, and it's just like, oh, like Texas Roadhouse, like steak. Oh my god, that one steak that me and you had, like the last because it had been a while since me and you had been in Texas. And I just like I bit into that steak with this with the sauteed mushrooms.

unknown 11:42

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 11:45

It was so good. It was. Oh, I was like, oh, this is heaven. It was heavenly, it was very heavenly.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

We're gonna move on. Uh I love him, but sometimes it can be embarrassing. We were having dinner with my family the other night, and I know it was good because my dad grills meats like no other. All the dishes were served, and here goes my man basically swallowing his food whole.

SPEAKER_04 12:15

What? Was it the fact that she called him like her man or something?

SPEAKER_00 12:20

No, I just looked at you and you had a face. So I thought you were I thought you were thinking of something else.

SPEAKER_04 12:25

No, that's what I was kind of like, oh man, I don't know. Because like every time I've had like a girl be like, Yeah, that's my man.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

I'm like, ugh, don't say I don't want to call her my girl, and I don't want her to call me my man.

SPEAKER_04 12:38

Right. I'll be like, if I'm introducing you to like my family or friends or something, I'll be like, this is my girlfriend, you know, or something like that, or like, hey, this is the girl I'm dating, or yeah, you know, this is my fiance. Like, I'd rather be like that than be like, This is my girl, Sarita. Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

Yeah, if she was like, So this is my man, beat the weights.

SPEAKER_04 12:59

That's my man.

SPEAKER_00 13:02

Uh and so of course my dad has to say, must have been hungry. Typical dad response.

SPEAKER_03 13:12

Must have been hungry, ain't there spoil.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

It's like he, and then in parentheses, my boyfriend, has no manners and just wants to caveman his way through life. I feel like eating fast isn't really being a caveman, but okay. My dad thought it was funny and felt proud because he believed his food must have tasted that good. My family adores him and they don't mention it except when it happens in real time. I was wondering what I should do or say. Is this something that I just accept about him, or is there communication that can happen?

SPEAKER_04 13:44

Here's my thing. Thanks. She really said thanks. Yeah. Here's my thing is I've noticed this as proper etiquette uh growing up, is like obviously as you're a kid, if you're a kid, you can get away with it pretty much, just horking down your food, you know? But when you're an adult and like let's say you're on a date or something like that, you obviously want to enjoy the meal with the other. You don't want to rush anything. Cause to me, if I was like on a date with a chick and she's like, she's just eating like that, and you're like, uh, is it good? Yeah, you know, what is you could eat that butter. Like if she's like that, just horking out her meal. I'm like, bro, chill. Like, we're here to have like a good time and talk and get to know each other, you know.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

Um here's the thing though, I think women when they're on dates eat incredibly slow for that reason, so they don't look like a pig. And so they take forever.

SPEAKER_04 14:51

Oh, yeah. Cause then by the time like you're halfway done, they just like bit into their first piece.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

Yeah. It's crazy. They'll take a half hour or longer to finish them their meal. And even when I'm going on a date or whatever, like I try to eat slower than I normally would. Like, I'm very conscious about it now. But yeah, they still take so long. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:14

So I in that regard until you really get to know them, and then they're just like sitting there in a sweatshirt eating a sloppy Joe. Yeah, Kirby, or like they're in a they're eating a sloppy Joe, and they're just like just letting it get all over their shirt and staining it, and then they just scoop it up with their finger, going, bro. I known one chick that's done that. Like, she'll just dribble like mustard or something on her shirt, and she'll either like lift it up and go like that, lick it. I've done that before, I won't lie. Or she'll sit there. Oh, I have too. Um, or like there was one time, like, uh, who was it? Which which girlfriend was it? That sounds bad. Which girlfriend was it? There was was it number three or number 20?

SPEAKER_03 15:52

I think it was number one. I think it was number 50, actually.

SPEAKER_04 15:55

No, I think it was number one because she just didn't care after a certain point because we had been like we dated each other for a while. So she was eating. I think we were eating like just I don't know, it was something stupid like mac and cheese, and she spilt the whole bowl on her shirt. She literally scooped it up like a baby bib with like the little cup roll thing in it, and she was I was like, Ew. Yeah, that's what? And she's like, What? It's still edible, didn't drop on the floor or anything. I'd be like, in a degree, I'm like, okay, that's fair, I guess. Like it's your shirt, you wore it, you know if you cleaned it or not. But at the same time, like, if I saw you licking it up off the floor, that'd be a different story, right? There, I'd be like, get out, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

But that could also mean that she was really comfortable with you, so that's might be a good sign.

SPEAKER_04 16:40

Yeah, I know. And even like there's a few, I mean, like, there's a few women like I've hung out with recently or whatever, and it's just like they're just comfortable around me. I'm like, I don't know what I do. I'm just chill, I guess. I'm just a chill guy.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

Yeah, but we need that. I need that button now. Dang it, that's kind of making a comeback lately. The chill guy. It wasn't an ad. Oh, yeah, I saw that. It was so random. He was it was like all 3D, and he was just like standing next to the person. It's like, what? Like you're like what? Almost two years late.

SPEAKER_04 17:15

Right, like way to join last second.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

Or when did it come out?

SPEAKER_04 17:19

I think it was like two years ago.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

Yeah, it was like November 2024, or somewhere around that.

SPEAKER_04 17:23

It definitely wasn't last year, I'll tell you that much. Because they had a bunch of stuff, it had to have been two years ago.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

Okay, so she says, I was wondering what I should do, or say, is this something that I should accept about him, or is communication?

SPEAKER_04 17:35

Here's my thing. If it's like a date between the two, tell them to like slow the heck down, you know, because you're there to enjoy each other's company, you're there to enjoy the food. Yes, it may be very good, but like you don't need to like you know, swallow it whole, you know what I mean? But if you're at like a family gathering or something, I would say depending on the family gathering type. If it's like either a wedding or if it's like if it's like a barbecue, it's time to feast. Go nuts. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah. But if it's like or even a birthday for that matter, you know, just hoark everything down. Yeah. But if it's like a wedding, or if it's like, I don't know, a funeral and you're sitting there, grandma's in the casket, and you're just hoorking down the post law.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

I hate when I go to a funeral and I'm just starving.

SPEAKER_04 18:26

Yeah. And I like the stomach gurgles and everything.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

Yeah, and I'm just like in my head, I'm just thinking, like, man, I can't wait to eat. And they're just like, and we gather here today because you're just the stomach gurgle.

SPEAKER_04 18:39

Oh man. But yeah, I would talk to him about that. Just be like, on certain occasions, it's okay to like just stuff everything in your mouth, but then like other times it's like you need to chill, dude.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

It sounds like she needs to get him a bib and feed him herself like a child. You imagine he learns. Imagine this dude's. We're gonna set the timer for 60 seconds and you're gonna finish this food. Here comes the plane. Oh, that'd be crazy. All right, yeah, that's a pretty easy one. Just uh communicate with him. Come on, why'd you even write us?

SPEAKER_03 19:10

Yeah, girl, you stupid.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

You don't, yeah, that's my main. Uh, so we're going on to number two! Yeah, my girlfriend is a stage five clinger.

SPEAKER_04 19:26

I thought I thought they were about to say like stage five cancer or something like that. I was like, dang, we're getting dark in this.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

I think stage five would mean dead. Oh, yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_03 19:35

Dang. Yeah, you're right. Probably would be.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

Just writing in because I know that this story is just funny and crazy. I'm not necessarily looking for advice as I already have an idea of what to do, but here it goes. I've been with my girlfriend for about one year this July. Uh so 11 months so far. Obviously, as you've guessed after you, you know, we get along quite well. She's really fun to hang out with and she's smart. So those two things I really appreciate in her. We met at a fair last year when I won a prize at that bottle throw game.

SPEAKER_04 20:10

What is this, the 50s? When did she want to meet someone at a fair? I mean, it just sounds like it's something from the 50s. Like, you got like the quartz hat, like with the red and white stripe with like that weird straw hat. They're like, hello, hello, hello. Be like, hey, tell you what, Missy, if I win something at the ring toss, will you go on a date with me? Let's go get burgers and shakes. You know, like some transatlantic like radio announcer is just like, oh, I do declare if you do, I'll go fancy a date with you. Like, I don't know. That just that's sound.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

You're we could have a whole show on that. We could, I'm gonna have to bring that up.

SPEAKER_04 20:46

I'll just voice every character.

SPEAKER_00 20:49

Hey, I mean, yeah, maybe old fashioned, but I'd rather meet her that way than go to like on a Tinder date with like a squirrel that's taxidermy. Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 21:00

Professor Squeakers or whatever his name was.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

Stefan, you have a good memory. I forgot about that. Professor Squeaks.

SPEAKER_04 21:07

Professor Squeaks, that's what it was, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

Close enough. It's just what the heck, man. I know. Uh so he when they met at a fair when he won a prize at the bottle throw game. It was a giant teddy bear and it turned around after winning. Well, that's always what it is. It's always a teddy bear. Yeah. It really is. And then it's gonna be bigger than her or something stupid. I want one though. I want this to happen to me.

SPEAKER_04 21:35

I you know what was funny at Mich uh no, it wasn't Michigan's Adventure, it was Six Flags. They had a Sonic and Shadow, like four foot plush, and I wanted to be like, I want to win one, but I'm like, I don't have any more money to like go do anything.

SPEAKER_00 21:50

Dang, that's as tall as Andy.

SPEAKER_04 21:51

I know. And I was sitting there at the time and I was like, because I I'm not not even joking. Somebody actually sold one to somebody like right in. Front of our faces, and I was like, Well, I got like I got this I can spare, I can spare like 50 bucks or something like that. And I was like, Okay, maybe I can see if I can get the Sonic one or something like that. And I was like, Hey, I got a random question to ask. I saw you like give that one to a guy, like, can I buy one of these off? Because they were about to close the park anyway, too. And I was like, Can I buy one of these? Like, I have 50 bucks I can give you. And they're like, sorry, you gotta play the game. I'm like, you literally just I didn't even see him. Like, we literally walked there, he literally handed you something and then like took it, and it was like, Cool, bro. But then I come up, a kid offering you 50 bucks. I it's $50 in your pocket, bro. Like, just give me the sonic plush. Yeah, I would have done it. That's what I'm saying. I would have done that. Yeah, and then it's like literally free 50 bucks. And what a game is like two dollars now. Well, not two dollars now, but back then it was probably like two bucks to play a ring toss game. I was so upset.

SPEAKER_00 22:59

Those things must have made bank. Oh, yeah, 100% because those plushies were so cheap, you'd like feel them, and they felt like they'd grip if you made the wrong, like yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:08

You go home or like you sit there and cuddle with it, and it's like head is rolled off the side of the bed. The stuffing sonic, it's just like you see stuffing trail. Oh man, and then I think that was the same time I went to the Great Wolf Lodge again, which that place is very overrated. It like as a kid, like okay, here's the difference. Back then, when I went the first time, it was actually like they took really good care of like the rooms and the the game rooms and everything else. Yeah, now you go in there and it's like this is like a glorified motel, like it looks run down. The water park is like mediocre pretty much.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

Like it's my sister loves going there with her kids.

SPEAKER_04 23:54

It's expensive as crap too. Yeah, I would imagine $500 a night. I'm like, heck no. I'm like, it's already a grand just to live in my apartment right now. Like, you think $500 a night? For the wolf cave, which is like their suite or something like that. Oh, yeah, and the bed is it like in a cave, like that they made out of like paper mache or something like that on the side of the wall. They're like, oh, now you can experience what it's like to be a wolf. Bet you all the furries go there or something.

SPEAKER_00 24:24

I wanna go. Oh, do you? Yeah, I wanna look, I wanna spend the night in the wolf cave. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_03 24:32

Um dude, I've been hurting myself all day today. I don't know what the problem is.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

Well, you're gonna have to go home in one of those hearses? No.

SPEAKER_04 24:46

Like the in the casket vehicle, the hearse?

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Uh, what's those? The like a protective suit that's the point of it. The hazmat suit or whatever. No, it's like the when they do it like this, so like the person can't. Oh, the straitjacket? Yeah. You're gonna have to go home in that. Uh, let me see, where was I? Uh uh. Oh, it was a giant teddy bear teddy bear, and I turned around after winning, saw her standing there randomly and said, Hey, do you want this? Her eyes beamed as I asked, and she had a smile wider than a crescent moon, and said, Yes. How romantic. That is very romantic.

SPEAKER_04 25:22

Wider than a crescent moon? Sounds very joker-y. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:27

Like the Cheshire cat. Yes, he was weird. I feel like this guy's meant for this girl. He seems just as weird as she does. And we haven't even heard what she's about. After that, we got the talking and started hanging out day after day, week after week. It's a cute love story, but maybe too cute. See, that's the problem. I feel like a normal girl wouldn't have fallen so hard and so easily over something like that. They may appreciate the gesture and find it funny, but she seemed to have fallen head over heels right then and there. Which brings me to the main issue. She says, It'll be cute if I move into the apartment next door to you. This is on top of all the other clingy things, constant texting, calling. But this is too far. I'm heavily leaning towards breaking up. Any ideas?

SPEAKER_04 26:14

But they so he's already been in a relationship with her for a year.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:19

And she, I take it she probably moved into the apartment next door.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

No, I think she's saying that she wants to.

SPEAKER_04 26:25

Oh. I don't I don't really know if that would be a huge issue. I f I would find it weird, but I don't think it'd be an issue if you known each other. It's not like you you met her at that time and she was like, hey, I want to move in next to you. Like at that point, yeah, that would be like, okay, no, I wouldn't even want to give me the bear. Like just take the bear from her, run away. Um I mean, in a way, I get where he's coming from, but I feel like it's some like I feel like it'd be more I don't know if he'd want to do it, but like sounds like he doesn't want to. But my suggestion would be moving in together at that point. Because what would be the point of her moving next door if like this relationship's going on for like a year?

SPEAKER_00 27:11

Well, maybe he doesn't want to move in.

SPEAKER_04 27:13

Maybe not.

SPEAKER_00 27:14

But maybe they want it, maybe he wants to be married, maybe she wants to be married, and that's why she doesn't want to move in.

SPEAKER_04 27:19

Probably. Um but how far, but that's the other thing, too, is how far away are because if she's not that far, then what would be the point of her like moving next door? You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know. Because if it's really not that far, yeah, it makes no sense.

SPEAKER_00 27:35

But if like she's really far away and maybe wants to be close, I'm like, yeah, look, you know, next door is a little too close, but at the same time, it's like plus at that point, since they're dating, if they break up and they're neighbors, I feel like that'd be really awkward.

SPEAKER_04 27:49

He needs to go outside and like just like ponder life and like just enjoy some fresh air, and then she's right next door, and he's like, Oh god, it's you.

SPEAKER_00 27:59

Yeah, exactly. It'd be it wouldn't be fun. It wouldn't be fun for me to do that.

SPEAKER_04 28:03

Or even too, if like let's just say like she still had feelings for him and he brings over another girl, and then she's got the teddy bear, he's like, he used that same move at me.

SPEAKER_00 28:14

Yeah, he wins another one at the fair. Yeah, he does the same song and dance routine turns around and there just happens to be another attractive female.

SPEAKER_04 28:24

Oh my gosh. That'd be wild.

SPEAKER_00 28:27

Or maybe he's just really, really attractive. And so when he's playing the game, there's just a bunch of women that flock him, women that flock him, and then he just turns around, they're like, Is it gonna be me this time?

SPEAKER_04 28:42

Or just like it's like the seagulls from finding Nemo.

SPEAKER_00 28:45

Mine. Mine, mine. Oh man, I haven't seen that movie in forever.

SPEAKER_04 28:50

You know what's funny? 23 years ago.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

That's not funny.

SPEAKER_04 28:53

23 years ago that movie came out. Yeah, I hate it. Because that's yeah, literally, I was you have it's 23, so I was 10 when it came out. Oh my god, I'm old.

SPEAKER_03 29:07

I would have been nine. 33 now. I'm gonna be 34 this year. I'm gonna be 33 this year.

SPEAKER_04 29:14

Annika just turned 27.

unknown 29:16

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_04 29:17

Yeah, I know that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00 29:19

I'm only five years older than her.

SPEAKER_04 29:20

Yeah, she was born in 99. You were born in 93, so you're like five, six years.

SPEAKER_00 29:27

Yeah, it depends on yeah, it would be like six years. I it's probably because when we were in high school, she was like eight or nine.

SPEAKER_04 29:36

Yeah, she was like probably in like what second grade or something like that, too.

SPEAKER_00 29:39

Yeah, so that's probably why it's a little bit different. Yeah. Um, but yeah. I don't I don't know, that's a hard one. Cause like if she's constantly calling and texting on top of that, because he said that at the end, right? And then she also wants to do that.

SPEAKER_04 29:55

Yeah, it might be I or even too, if like he still likes her and stuff, like just take like a small break or something. Like, just be like, hey, I feel like, you know, yes, we've been seeing each other for a year, but I feel like the whole moving next door to each other is probably not the smartest move. Like, I get if you want to be closer, that's fine. But I preferably would like it to be where I have my own space, and me and you can still continue seeing each other, but we don't need to be next door neighbors. And maybe even hit her with a little bit of reality of like, what happens if we break up? You know, are you gonna really enjoy being my next door neighbor and stuff? Like they're gonna you just see them like they're that that casual, like people that come out on their doorstep, like the newspaper gets flung at the door, they have their cup of coffee in their bathrobe, and they go bend over to pick up the paper, and then they are like, Oh, it's you, you know, that thing, and they just walk back in.

SPEAKER_00 30:51

Or he could have her move in next door and he could just like infest that one with cockroaches or just drill like a little hole in the bottom wall and just let ants in there and stuff.

SPEAKER_04 31:03

That'd be crazy.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

That would be crazy. I can't believe you thought of that.

SPEAKER_04 31:07

I know. Well, at one point, you know, okay, the story time for so you remember Mayfield, right? My old apartment. Oh, yeah. So there was one time, I don't know what happened, or actually I do know what happened because I remember just now. So they installed these new toilets that were supposed to be like eco-friendly, where it was like the button on top and it had like a low flush thing or something like that. Um, and I guess what happened was is the guys did not put the right amount of like caulk or whatever they put for toilets to like mount the thing um on the floor properly. And so what happened was is a bunch of ants came up through there and they like infested the entire apartment. Uh yeah, it was bad. They were crawling through the sink and in the shower, and they were in the kitchen, and I called the apartment complex. I was like, bro, I got like an ant infestation. So I had to go to my dad's place, which he was still at Northville at the time, and I stayed there for like a couple days while they like fumigated the whole area and cleaned up. And then they said, All right, well, we found out it was because when we installed the new toilets, we didn't put the right amount of like caulk on there. And so they rebounded everything and like cleaned up everything from there so nothing could get in. And then I was like, Okay, as long as I don't have any more, we're good.

SPEAKER_00 32:26

So I mean tell me you went back and there was more.

SPEAKER_04 32:29

No, there wasn't any more. Okay, but that would that was it. But I'm what I mean, like there was a ton of ants. There were a ton of ants. It almost looked like I could just like scoop my hand and get like a large it would, dude. I'm not even joking. And I asked my neighbors too, like they were asking everybody if they had an ant problem, and they actually did. So whoever the company or whoever it was that was installing the toilets didn't do it for any of the other departments correctly either. So everybody else had like an ant infestation, too. It was crazy. So that's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 33:00

It makes you think of how many ants are out there.

SPEAKER_04 33:02

Well, that was also part of the reason why my rent was so cheap for the longest time, too. For five years, I lived there and it only went up by a hundred bucks in five years. So I was like, that's crazy. Because I was there from 2015 to 2020 and it started out at 650 and it went up to 750, and that was it.

SPEAKER_00 33:18

That's not bad. Oh man, I missed the days when rent was that much.

SPEAKER_04 33:21

No kidding. And here I am, I'm like in a two-bed apartment, and like it's a thousand. But I mean, that's I would say pretty decent for a two-bed is a thousand.

SPEAKER_00 33:31

Yeah, that's pretty good.

SPEAKER_04 33:32

But I also got it on a deal that they were running because they needed people to like lease the apartments, and I was like, I'll take a two-bed. What would be the because they also said too like a one-bedroom was like upstairs, and I was like, I don't want to deal with them upstairs, especially if I have like a couch and all this other crap I have to carry. I'd rather be lower level at that point. Plus, in the summer, it's like it gets hot and heat rises. I would rather be at the bottom level and have like heat, but not as the extent as upstairs. But yeah, that was my story time. But yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah, that happened. That happened right at I think it was 20, I think it was actually a year after I moved in. Because they were, they were trying to be eco-friendly because they replaced my air conditioning unit too. And then yeah, they replaced the toilets and a couple other things in the apartments to make it more eco-friendly.

SPEAKER_00 34:24

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:25

So that's what not all happened. So, but yeah, if that would be an idea to drive her away, is just put little ants right in her apartment, and there you go. Obviously kidding, or am I?

SPEAKER_00 34:39

Yeah, it sounds like this guy's got it figured out. Yeah, he'll uh get it figured out.

SPEAKER_04 34:42

If he's got it, he's got it figured out. But yeah, I would probably say like either take a break or just be done with it at that point. Yeah. If she's gonna be that clingy.

SPEAKER_00 34:51

You gotta find someone that you want to move next to you, you know. Yeah. If you're annoyed at that, it's probably not gonna work out. All right, we're on to number three. I'm writing because I could really use some advice. Yeah, you came to the right place. The amount of relationships we've saved on this podcast.

SPEAKER_04 35:11

I know we probably saved every single one.

SPEAKER_00 35:12

Yeah. That's why people that's why people come to us.

SPEAKER_04 35:15

We're like the new Dr. Phil.

SPEAKER_00 35:18

Dr.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

Phil's Dr. Phil, who was I thinking of Dr.

SPEAKER_04 35:24

Phil's a therapist.

SPEAKER_00 35:25

Well, I mean Well, he could kind of he would help. I'm pretty sure he helped people with the relationship sometimes.

SPEAKER_04 35:31

He probably would.

SPEAKER_00 35:32

I don't I don't know how much of his show is real, though.

SPEAKER_04 35:35

Right. Probably some of them are, but there's other ones that like it's obviously Hollywood stuff.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

That's like Jerry Springer, too.

SPEAKER_04 35:40

Yeah, or Steve Harvey.

SPEAKER_00 35:42

Steve Harvey.

SPEAKER_04 35:43

Yeah, from what is it? Uh what is it Family Feud. Family Feud, yeah. Cause oh, did you hear that? That actor, or well, Steve Harvey or whatever, actor, whatever you want to call him. He's like really mean. I was about to say something else. He's really mean after the show. Is he? Yeah, so he comes off as like he's really friendly towards the guests and everything like that. But as soon as like the camera's like cut completely, he's like a total like a hole, pretty much.

SPEAKER_00 36:11

Really?

SPEAKER_04 36:11

Yeah, like he literally like treats like all the guests and everything like that, like he's like, get away from me. And he like cusses him out and everything like that, and then he just like goes off, and it's just like, dude, like it really sucks because he's so likable, right? And then one time he got caught threatening to beat the crap out of like one of the families that just wanted like a photo real quick with him and everything like that. Like, and they just got done with the show, and I'm like, This guy's crazy. I think um Tom Hanks is the same way, too.

SPEAKER_00 36:37

Oh, I well, that I don't doubt, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:40

But it's like, bro, we the people made you famous, like we can take that away just like that. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 36:47

Yeah, but too many people I feel like worship them, right?

SPEAKER_04 36:50

So yeah, that's the unfortunate that ain't gonna happen, even though I do find Steve Harvey hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

Yeah, he is funny. That's why it's such a disappointment that he's like that, right? That's disappointing to me. Now I'm sad. Exactly. A few months ago, I started dating a woman named Harmony. She's funny, thoughtful, and why why I just look over you making a face already?

SPEAKER_04 37:16

Some of these names, man. We just get like some funny names. Like, I know it's an actual name, but it's just like Harmony. Hmm. It's okay.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

Yeah, that's not my it's like when people name their kid Melody or Candy or Mercedes. Ooh, I've never seen Mercedes.

SPEAKER_04 37:34

Oh, I've met one Mercedes and she was spoiled.

SPEAKER_00 37:37

Well, I would not doubt that with a name like that.

SPEAKER_04 37:40

It's crazy. Yeah, this is let's name my daughter. Or there's Crystal. You oh, Crystal.

SPEAKER_00 37:48

Don't don't you do it.

SPEAKER_04 37:50

Oh my gosh. Did it did I tell you that I tried to talk to her like a few years ago?

SPEAKER_00 37:54

I think you did, and she just didn't answer.

SPEAKER_04 37:57

Yeah, she didn't answer. Like we had talked before, and then I think you and Jake talked to her too a little bit, and then something not recently. No, not recently. It was like years after or years before that, or something like that. Yeah, and then yeah, I tried talking to her again, and then yeah, that was pretty much it. Like, I just didn't hear back from her, so I was like, oh, okay, it's whatever. I mean, that was my like that was uh she was my fifth grade crush because she had left because me and her had Mr. Fromm's class um back at Bangor. Mr.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

Fromm from Fromm Franks.

SPEAKER_04 38:28

He he was uh he got fired. Did he? Yeah, do you know why? Yeah. Um I he so he was in class, I guess, and he was pulling up okay, so childhood flashback. You remember Liberty's kids? Yes, yeah, that show. So we were watching that because he did history and everything like that. Oh my gosh, I love that show. I actually binge watched it, it has like over a hundred episodes or something like that, I think. And um he got caught watching some stuff that came up on the projector when he thought it wasn't coming up on the projector, and the sound for the projector was also up. So yeah. Uh after that.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

So it was POR.

SPEAKER_04 39:11

Yeah. He got caught with that, and so he got fired, and then I remember Mr. Cash was teaching for a little bit until I found somebody else to replace Mr. Fromm.

SPEAKER_00 39:20

I don't understand. Like, he couldn't have waited until he got home. Right. It was during class.

SPEAKER_04 39:24

Yeah, it was during class, but I think this was also during the time period too, where it's like the internet was still somewhat like just coming around with like Facebook and YouTube and everything like that. Yeah. But at the same time, like, yeah, you couldn't have waited till you got home or something like that. Like, that's kind of crazy doing that in school.

SPEAKER_00 39:41

Or probably didn't want it on his home computer. That could be a thing. But like during class, I just think is like right.

SPEAKER_04 39:47

That's a little crazy.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

But how did he did like a kid tell on him?

SPEAKER_04 39:52

No, it came up on the projector while he was pulling up Liberty's kids or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 39:55

Like he was right, but how did the teachers find out that that happened?

SPEAKER_04 39:59

Oh, they like heard it from other classrooms. Like, I think uh the teacher across from him overheard something like a you know, like a sound. Yes, and I was gonna say scream, but you know what I mean. Yeah, so um, yeah, they heard a sound, and then they came over to find out what it was, and then everybody like was silent in the classroom, and then the kids went home and told their parents about it. Oh and then they thought it was like a joke or something like that, but then they were like, No, multiple kids were telling everybody about it, and then like I think it was like a week later he got fired or something like that, and then they yeah, that's just crazy. Yeah, well, it was, dude. It was nuts. Like, I'm like, yeah, at that point, it's like, okay, yeah, sure, the internet's still fresh, but at the same time, like, again, wait till you get home. But I don't think him or his if he was even married, I don't remember, but like I don't think him or his wife would have like, you know, been able to like look at search history. I don't even know if search history was really a thing back then.

SPEAKER_00 41:05

Oh, that's true.

SPEAKER_04 41:06

Compared to like now, where it's like, even though you're in incognito mode, you're not really in incognito mode.

SPEAKER_00 41:12

Yeah, we all know it's a sham.

SPEAKER_04 41:14

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:15

All right, so she's funny, thoughtful, and honestly one of the most interesting people I've ever met. There's just one thing that keeps throwing me off. She brings a yellow kite on every single date. Where do these weird people come from? A yellow kite. I mean, with billions of people in the world, I'm not surprised. Like, there's gotta be uh something for everybody, but yellow kite.

SPEAKER_04 41:38

Well, you know what? That's probably the most normal item that we've heard. Yeah, but the pigeon in the shoebox, taxidermied squirrel. What else was there?

unknown 41:47

I'm trying to think.

SPEAKER_00 41:48

Not just any squirrel.

SPEAKER_04 41:49

Oh, yeah. Professor Squeaks. Professor Squeaks, a lizard costume.

SPEAKER_00 41:55

Yeah, but that was to go to the zoo.

SPEAKER_04 41:57

Yeah, that was to go to the zoo, but it was like also taking pictures like with the girlfriend with that. I'm like, I feel like a kite is like very acceptable compared to a lizard costume.

SPEAKER_00 42:09

Yeah, we've come to this, we've come to this place where it's like the kite is normal.

SPEAKER_04 42:14

It's still weird, but it's like it's way more normal compared to anything else.

SPEAKER_00 42:20

Not sometimes, not on outdoor dates, every date. Our first date was at a coffee shop. She walked in. Why is it always a coffee shop?

SPEAKER_04 42:28

I guess it is really a coffee shop every time. What is it gonna say like she walked in?

SPEAKER_00 42:34

I think those are becoming more and more popular for like first dates because they're cheap and a lot more casual.

SPEAKER_04 42:40

You know what's dumb is that's how I met my ex-fiance and my last girlfriend at a coffee shop. Yeah, but it was like if I don't know why a coffee shop. That's like the first thing that I ever think of is just like, oh.

SPEAKER_00 42:51

Because it's because it's it's like it's not expensive, yeah, it's not super committed. So if you kind of find out that this isn't going well, you can just leave instead of like, oh, I gotta wait for the food now.

SPEAKER_04 43:03

You know what's funny too is I remember my ex fiance, um, she told me, like, after I think our sixth month or when I proposed to her, she told me that when I first showed up at Starbucks, because it was Starbucks on the belt line near um the old Toys R Us on 28th or whatever. Yeah. Um she told me, she goes, I'm not gonna lie, when you first showed up, I was not impressed with the way that you were dressed. I was like, what do you mean? It was winter when we met, you know? Like it was like beginning of January, so obviously snowing and stuff. I wore a leather jacket and a hoodie underneath it, but kept it all zipped up. It wasn't like the hoodie was showing and it was whatever on there. Like it was in winter gear.

SPEAKER_00 43:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 43:44

I'm like, what do you think I'm gonna wear? A tank top and like beach shorts or something like that, and just be like, oh, humma humma nooga no blah.

SPEAKER_00 43:53

That's not how you show up on a date either.

SPEAKER_04 43:54

You don't show up with a tank top and then list the Hawaiian state fish. Yeah. Imagine. You know what? That'd be a crazy thing.

SPEAKER_00 44:01

I feel like that would have done worse for you.

SPEAKER_04 44:03

If a girl showed up.

SPEAKER_00 44:04

Thankful that it was during the winter time.

SPEAKER_04 44:06

You're right. And I'm like, if a girl did show up and she just said No, oh my gosh, I can't say it. Humu Humuku Nukwoop Waha. And she did like the hang loose thing, I'd be like, oh, green flag all the way. Well, you need to find this girl then.

SPEAKER_00 44:20

You need to start surfing.

SPEAKER_04 44:21

You're right.

SPEAKER_00 44:22

You could probably go to California, find her.

SPEAKER_04 44:24

Ew, California? Out of all places.

SPEAKER_00 44:27

I'm just saying. All right. Maybe somewhere on Lake Michigan, because I know some people surf Lake Michigan, even though.

SPEAKER_04 44:33

Maybe I can find my sandy cheeks.

SPEAKER_00 44:39

Maybe you can. Maybe. Maybe you can. Uh our first day was a coffee shop. She walked in carrying this bright yellow kite tucked under her arm like it was a purse. I figured she had just come from a park or something, so I didn't ask. Second date, fancy Italian restaurant, yellow kite. Third date, movie theater, yellow kite. Last week we went to a bookstore, and while I was looking through the history section, she was carefully making sure the kite wasn't leaning against anything that might bend it.

unknown 45:07

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 45:08

The weird thing is that she never really explains it. I've asked, she'll smile and say things like, It likes to come with me. Or you never know when the wind will be right. Hey, that's a fair point. Yeah, sure. At first I thought she was joking. Now I'm not so sure. The kite itself is completely ordinary. Bright yellow fabric, wooden frame, long white tail. It's a little worn around the edges. You know, I kind of want to get a kite.

SPEAKER_03 45:37

Just imagine outside your apartment or whatever, and you're just like flying kite.

SPEAKER_04 45:44

It is kind of fun. I mean, it is, yeah. Like if you can get it way up there. Oh my gosh. I remember as a kid, we had like a Superman and Batman one, me and John, and we had contests to see if like who we could get like the highest up there. And I remember it was a cloudy day, but it was really windy, and both of ours got tangled up in the sky, and then they both went right on the ground, and it was like, oh, they broke. But I tell you what, as a kid, flying a kite, that was a good day right there.

SPEAKER_00 46:12

It was. Every time we'd get one, I would be like, oh, this thing is so cool.

SPEAKER_04 46:15

Right. And it's just basic too.

SPEAKER_00 46:17

Yeah, I think we'd always get them for Easter or something. Oh, yeah. And I just couldn't wait to get to get it. Which makes me think, which makes me think it's makes me think, which makes me think, no, which makes me think it's old. She treats it with surprising care. One time a waiter accidentally brushed against it, and she looked more concerned about the kite than if someone had spilled water on her phone. Well, that's not fair to say because they didn't spill water on your on her phone, and you don't know. Right. The strangest part is that everything else about her seems perfectly normal. And then who cares? Right. She wants to carry her on a kite.

SPEAKER_04 46:55

Like we said, it's the most normal item out of everything on this podcast that we've like encountered.

SPEAKER_00 47:03

She has a regular job, she pays her bills, she remembers birthdays, she kind, she's kind to strangers, she volunteers at an animal shelter. If you removed the kite from the picture, I'd probably be telling you she's one of the best people I've ever dated.

SPEAKER_04 47:17

At least she's not calling it Steve or something.

SPEAKER_00 47:19

Yeah, well, hopefully that doesn't come up. Watch part two. A few days ago, we were walking through town when a breeze picked up. She's suddenly stopped, smiled, and said, Finally. Was she a superhero?

SPEAKER_04 47:37

Finally.

SPEAKER_00 47:39

I would, I don't know. I'm I'm kind of into her. Battle wins. If she's attractive, I would I would be all for it.

SPEAKER_04 47:47

She's gotta be a gothy mommy. Yeah, that's what she's gotta be.

SPEAKER_00 47:50

Yeah. Well, with the yellow kite, she might be. You might be.

SPEAKER_04 47:52

Sometimes it's like As long as she's got a Hello Kitty tattoo or a Jack Skellington tattoo. She's like, she's good in my book.

SPEAKER_00 47:57

Yeah. Usually with like the goth girls, they're like all dressed in all black, but then they have like one thing.

SPEAKER_04 48:02

The brightest thing in the room is like the one thing they have.

SPEAKER_00 48:05

Yeah, that they that's colored, has a color on it. Before I could ask what she meant, she ran into an open field, assembled the kite in about 30 seconds, and launched it into the air. Pretty impressive. I stood there watching. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 48:20

I don't I'm 30 seconds?

SPEAKER_00 48:22

I'm trying to see what the problem is with her, but he just apparently this guy's, you know, send her my way.

SPEAKER_04 48:27

Right.

SPEAKER_00 48:28

I stood there watching, and honestly, she looked happier than I've ever seen anyone look. Not excited, not entertained, happy. Like the kite wasn't a hobby or a quirky accessory, like it was connected to something important. After about 10 minutes, she reeled it back in and we continued our date as if nothing unusual had happened. So here's my question. Am I overthinking this? Yes. Part of me wants to know the story behind the yellow kite. Part of me thinks maybe everyone has a harmless, weird thing, and this just happens to be hers. I really like this woman. The kite isn't hurting anyone, it's just so unusual that I can't tell whether I should keep asking about her or simply accept that the yellow kite is apparently a permanent third wheel in this relationship.

SPEAKER_04 49:11

Permanent third wheel is crazy.

SPEAKER_00 49:15

If any of your listeners have dated someone with an equally mysterious attachment to an object, I'd love to hear how it turned out. Well, that was perfect.

SPEAKER_04 49:29

That was funny. Oh man. You know what's you know what was great? I had this image in my head, and I wanted to say something. Is like, so I was like thinking like on the second day, and she said, finally, or something, and she was gonna get the kite ready. And I thought it was gonna be like, you know, in Toy Story where Buzz Lightyear tries to fly off Sid's stairs, and it's like I'll go fly, like you Randy Newman in the background, then he goes, I'll go see no more, like that one, and just imagine her trying to fly with the kite. I thought that's where this was gonna go. Like, she's like, I can fly.

SPEAKER_00 50:05

She just like spreads her arms, and there's like it's like a whole other kite right underneath.

SPEAKER_04 50:09

She's kite gal.

SPEAKER_00 50:11

Kite gal. Hey, there's a superhero uh idea for you.

SPEAKER_04 50:16

You know what's dumb? There's actually a superhero called Kite Man.

SPEAKER_00 50:20

Of course there is. There is.

SPEAKER_04 50:21

It's gotta be he is the dumbest next to uh what is it? The condiment king. And he literally squirts mustard, mayonnaise, and ketchup.

SPEAKER_00 50:31

Who made that one?

SPEAKER_04 50:32

DC.

SPEAKER_00 50:33

I'm gonna I I have to look it up.

SPEAKER_04 50:35

He's actually like the they named him the lamest superhero. And there's actually one of a pencil, too. Like, or they call him the eraser or something like that, and his head is literally like an eraser.

SPEAKER_03 50:47

Like, I'm not even joking. I wonder why those ones haven't made it to the movies yet.

SPEAKER_04 50:52

Yeah, Ant-Man and the Wasp. Oh, I can't wait for the Condiment King movie. Yeah, although in this day and age, on how some memes become like a movie or something, I actually would kind of find that funny. If it was like a comedy, if they're trying to make like a serious, like Daredevil kind of thing with it.

SPEAKER_00 51:07

I feel like it would make it funnier if if they try to make it serious. Oh my god. If they tried to make it into a comedy, I I feel like it would just not be funny. Yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_04 51:19

But if it's like uh Heath Ledger's like Joker kind of serious, like, why so serious? Yeah. Like that, but with Condiment King, oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 51:27

Yeah. I feel like it would like to be.

SPEAKER_04 51:29

I am vengeance, I am the knight, I am Batman. You know what's sad too? Mark Hamel said that he will never voice Joker again after uh Ken died. I think that's the name. Or no, Kevin. Kevin is his name. Um that voiced Batman. I don't know why I thought Ken. I knew it was a K. Uh yeah, Kevin Conroy. He uh he's like, without like because it's actually a line in the Batman series is he goes, without Batman, crime has no punchline. And it's like, yeah, without Batman, there's no Joker. So I was like, dang, that's kind of sad. But Mark Hamill stood doing stuff like that. He's just like it's dumb, but now he's more political than anything now.

SPEAKER_00 52:12

Yes, he is, and I hate it. Very annoying.

SPEAKER_04 52:15

Love his acting, love his work, hate his political crap that he's got going on. But aside from that, I think this guy needs to keep dating this chick because the fact that again, out of all the things that we have heard through the stories about what these women or men carry with them, a kite is the most normal object that this person can have in their possession. And if all she wants to do is find a, you know, she's like just licks her finger and like it's like the southwest winds are coming in. Like, she's like that. Like, if that's the worst part of your day, is get watching your girl for 30 seconds assemble a kite and fly it. Yeah, buddy, you gotta rethink your life choices at that point.

SPEAKER_00 53:08

Yeah, especially if everything else is good about her.

SPEAKER_04 53:10

I would still probably figure out why she's carrying the kite around everywhere she goes.

SPEAKER_00 53:14

Maybe she'll tell him when she's more Right, because they've been dating for how long?

SPEAKER_04 53:18

Or seeing each other for how long or whatever?

SPEAKER_00 53:20

I'm gonna go back to the beginning. Uh a few months ago.

SPEAKER_04 53:24

A few months, yeah. So it's like it's only a few months. It's not like they're a year in and he's like, okay, girl, what's up with the kite, you know?

SPEAKER_00 53:31

It's not like Yeah, if she never told me, I would probably it'd be one of those things like, Why are you keeping it a secret from me?

SPEAKER_04 53:37

Right, like I need to know.

SPEAKER_00 53:40

You need to tell me now.

SPEAKER_04 53:41

Right, or just imagine it's like, oh, that was another story too that we had, where there was a girl that like had a guy that she had like uh or he had this family and they were like, Don't go in the basement. Oh, yeah. And we and then it was like we talked about like how it could be like care bears or something like that down there, and it was all labeled with his name on it. Like, if it was something like that, she went downstairs and she just like hung up the one kite, and then you see like all these lights that flicker on like individually, and it's just all a bunch of random colored kites, oh like up on the wall, like a bat cave or something like that, and just you hear that'd be crazy.

SPEAKER_00 54:15

That would be kind of cool.

SPEAKER_04 54:16

That would be kind of cool. I'd be more impressed than scared. Me too. But again, just the fact that it's a kite versus everything else that we've heard. Yeah, I would say just keep dating her, but obviously at some point figure out what the heck's with the kite. Why are you carrying it around everywhere you go, you know?

SPEAKER_00 54:32

Yeah, yep, yep, I get ya.

SPEAKER_04 54:36

All right, I'm still very impressed with 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_00 54:39

Yeah, I gotta get I gotta get that down.

SPEAKER_04 54:41

Same. You know what? Next next episode, let's have a kite assembling competition. All right, we'll do.

SPEAKER_00 54:47

All right, got anything else? Um, stay in school, don't do drugs. Perfect ending message. All right, everybody. Thanks again for listening. Bye. Shut up, love you, bye.