#11 Lake Girl

Love Gurus Caleb and Andy save three more people from their turmoil within relationships. From big girls to men who spend money like they'll never run out. Tune in for more fun. Oh?

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:03

Yeah. I started that. Someone at work told me to make that intro, and now he thinks it's the coolest intro. I feel cool.

SPEAKER_01 0:11

With it. How'd you get so loud all of a sudden? Because I turned me up. Are your headphones good? My headphones are so good. They're so comfy, dude. Alright.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

Are you thirsty?

SPEAKER_01 0:19

Because we gotta We gotta crack a cold one with the boys. I said it right this time.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

You said that yours was gonna be crack a cold.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Crack one with the boys. Yeah. This is crack it.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

And then you didn't say that though.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

I cracked it with the boy. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

There's just one. What is that other thing?

SPEAKER_01 0:38

This is for later. It's an Alani. What's Alani? Energy Dwink. For those that don't know, I work at Wood TV now, which is one of the news stations here in the Michigan base, and uh I'm working late. I'm working from five to midnight tonight. Whoa. Woo! I know. Um so I'm excited for that. So I have a nice little Alani. 200 milligrams of caffeine. That's so much. It's really not. Yeah, it is. That's really not. That's like two cups of coffee. That's okay. I don't drink coffee.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

More more than two cups. Yeah, that's a lot of countries.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Two and a half cups of coffee.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

That is a lot of caffeine. It's not bad. I'm just saying I wouldn't be able to go to bed till like four o'clock in the morning if I took that. What's crazy? What time do you drink it at?

SPEAKER_01 1:25

I mean, I'm probably gonna drink it like in the middle of the show, or probably when I when I leave.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

In the middle of the show?

SPEAKER_01 1:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:32

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Yeah, I would be up all night taking the.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

I'd be alright. I'll be alright. I mean, I I I always I I drink one almost every like other day. Not every other day, but like they're probably super good for you too. Oh, so good, dude. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They really keep me going. Look at me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Chipper than ever. Oh, nice. I found my chapstick. I didn't know I was here this whole time.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

Yeah, your lips are dry, dude. You should get some chapped buttlass. You should get a stick of butter. I heard that helps. In in honor of Stefan, because he's not here. What are we drinking, Caleb? I actually kind of like this.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

Arizona tea. This is the Southern style.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

Southern style sweet tea. It's actually pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

That's the first time I tried this one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

I was actually worried about it.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Really?

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

I used to buy the big plat, what is it, a gallon?

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Yeah, the big gallon ones a bit. Remember when they were like a dollar at the Dollar Tree? Yeah, they were like a dollar thirty or dollar fifty, I mean. They're like a dollar fifty at the dollar store. For the big where which dollar store did we go to together? I don't remember. I guess we never maybe at the dollar. I'm talking a dollar, I'm talking about Dollar Tree. Because then there's Dollar General, which which obviously never sells everything for a dollar. They lie.

SPEAKER_02 2:52

No, Dollar General.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

And who knows about that one?

SPEAKER_02 2:57

Yeah. Nobody.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Alright, well. That is a good one. It's nice and cold. Oh yeah. You had more ice?

SPEAKER_02 3:08

Huh? No, I don't have ice. I need to get an ice.

SPEAKER_01 3:12

Dude, our new our new fridge that you saw. Yeah. It's got an ice machine in it and makes ice in there. It's kind of nice. Well, you guys are living big. Mine doesn't have that. I have to get an ice tray if I want ice. I know. And then there's like no space because then it becomes inconvenient when you make an ice tray.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

But what do you need ice for? When you want a cold drink.

SPEAKER_01 3:35

Or whenever you're chugg, whenever you're chugging your your old fashions that you'd be making all the time.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

Yeah, I make them all the time.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

So much that I have tons of whiskey here.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

Yeah, look at all these. No, I'm just kidding. There's nothing in here.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

Yeah, that's what I thought.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Oh. Well. We're gonna move on.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

Yeah. You wanted to. I was okay. No. Should we just get started, or you have anything else that you want to bring up, or yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

I want to bring up the fact that I'm so happy to be here right now. I kind of miss when it's the three of us. It's always fun.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

But that's gonna be rare for that to work out now.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

I know. It's that I mean, this period this period of how Wood TV's going, it's gonna only last till like June. So one more month and then we'll be back to normal.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

And then they'll put you on first shift?

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Yeah, pretty much. Which is what, like four o'clock in the morning? Three o'clock in the morning, actually. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:27

That sounds awful.

SPEAKER_01 4:28

It's terrible. But then I get the whole rest of the day. You know, I'll get home by like what noon or one o'clock in the afternoon, take a nap.

SPEAKER_02 4:35

You go to bed at seven while the sun still shines.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

Oh, but it's not gonna be every day, though.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

It's gonna be like Yeah, but are you gonna be able to adjust to that sleep schedule that often?

SPEAKER_01 4:46

I can't even I can't even adjust to this one that I got going on right now.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Yeah, probably because you're drinking 200 milligrams of caffeine late in the day. Nah. Yeah, gee, I wonder. I bet that has something to do with it. It doesn't. It does. Okay. I'm telling you. Stop yelling at me. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 5:07

You didn't even play that intro. Do it right now.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

No, I have it on my laptop. So when I take this, I just bring it under the file and then it's automatically yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Okay, that makes more sense. I love it, dude. That's such a crazy little sound bit. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

Well, it's gonna be the intro until I get a sick song coming. But I don't know when it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

Do you want me to fix uh Willie the King? I'm working on that one again. I need you to record bass again on it though. Well, I don't know where that old track went because I remember if I remember correctly, I think we did it on my phone instead of my laptop. And that was like years ago. Phone? Yeah, I remember when I used to record on my phone because we had the little iRig. Yeah, but I feel like it was after that. Was it? It was on my iPad, and I remember that I was paying the subscription for Logic on my iPad, and then ever since I stopped paying for it because I bought it on the laptop, it was done. I'm gonna get Ableton. No. Why? It's so it's it's too overly complicated.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

Why is it too overly complicated? What about Pro Tools? Too overly complicated.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

No, Pro Tools, here's the here's how it works with DAWs. You ready for this? Here's how I'll educate you. They're just audio workspace. Yeah. Wow. So here's here's how it goes. With with Pro Tools and uh what's the other one of um like Fruity Loops? I don't know. FL Studio. Oh, that's what that is. Yeah. So those two are like your beat making DAWs. They're literally just made for you to just make standardized standardized beast beats and like all that stuff, and then post them so people like steal them from your YouTube account and start rapping on them without telling you.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

Got it.

SPEAKER_01 6:51

And then there's the ones that are like Ableton, Logic Pro is actually in that list. And then there's one called uh Reaper or no? Yeah, Reaper. Those are like your main multi-track recording type things they can analyze and you could do a little bit more. They're a lot more fluid to work with. Then there's ones like Q Base, and um there's this new one that everyone's using now, which is uh Band Lab. Those are like your very minimalized, easy to really easy to use. Logic Pro is just an upgraded garage band.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

Yeah, I know. That's why I don't really like it. Because it has almost the same plugins. And I don't think the garage band plugins sound that great.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

Do you? Well, it's garage band, it's free. But you don't all of a sudden have the exact same, like they don't have the exact same EQ base like like Logic does.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

Oh I also kind of want to get a guitar amp and record it on a mic instead.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

I'll let you borrow my 57.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

Is that a mic? Yeah, remember the one that we used? Uh yeah, I bet I can get one of those too.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

They're like 110 bucks.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

A nice fender amp for the telecast.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

Sounds so good.

unknown 8:03

Whoa.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:05

Whoa.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

So you're gonna buy an amp? Is that what you're telling me? At some point. You gotta buy an acoustic too.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

I know, I gotta buy a lot of things.

SPEAKER_01 8:11

Dude, get an Alvarez.

SPEAKER_02 8:13

What's an Alvarez?

SPEAKER_01 8:15

It's like an acoustic guitar. They are actually really, really nice. I played one the other day when I was at Firehouse. They actually sound super nice. I think I want an Alvarez. I might just go with Martin. So basic of you.

SPEAKER_02 8:31

I don't care. Uh Alvarez are like 800 to 350.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

350 to 800.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

Yeah, I know. I guess you could say it that way too. Who cares? Like everyone knows what I was saying.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

I didn't know.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

It's because I saw the $800 first. But if you spend $300 or $400 on an acoustic guitar, it's probably not gonna play and sound that well. That's that's a little too cheap.

SPEAKER_01 8:53

Or how much are you willing to spend? Like two grand?

SPEAKER_02 8:57

At some point, because I already know I'm gonna want to play acoustic. Like it's not like I'm trying it out. So I would spend like $1,500 to $2,000 on a nice Martin. All that the rich podcast money you're making lately. Yeah, the rich podcast money. I didn't say I was gonna buy one today. I said it's gonna be a while for me to save up.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

I already ordered it on Sweetwater.

SPEAKER_02 9:17

Did you really?

SPEAKER_01 9:18

Yeah. When's it coming? Next week.

unknown 9:21

Woo!

SPEAKER_01 9:22

No, just kidding. I didn't order it. I don't have a sweetwater. Andy.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

Caleb. I ordered these maracas. For sweetwater? On sweetwater. And the gyoto that Chewbacca's holding. Whoa, dude, he's got the stick in his hand and everything. Yeah, he's ready to go. He's ready. Sometimes I'll go to bed at night and hear that in the middle of the night. No way.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

And I just is he at least good?

SPEAKER_02 9:47

Yeah, I just wonder if the Toy Starry thing is real where like toys come to life when you're not watching them.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

Well, don't look, don't make sure you don't actually see them like moving because then you like get cancer or something like that. Really? Yeah. Who says? Meat Canyon.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

Oh, well, that guy's a fool.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

Have you seen those scary Meat Canyon um cartoons? Yeah. It's been a while. So ugly.

SPEAKER_02 10:11

It's like disgusting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:13

It's like the worst.

SPEAKER_02 10:14

It's like almost like the detailed Spongebob pictures that they always have. Like just like that level of gross. It's not the exact same like cartoon style, but you know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_01 10:23

Where yeah, when they do like zoom ins on Spongebob's face, and it's like the most hideous looking thing.

SPEAKER_02 10:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

Those are always so creepy.

SPEAKER_02 10:31

All right, should we get started?

SPEAKER_01 10:32

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

Before we do, we have to jump in. I got it right that time. Whoa. You did. Stefan, I accidentally pushed crickets.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

I thought that was funny.

SPEAKER_02 10:44

Me thought it funny, too.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

You thought funny?

SPEAKER_02 10:47

This is number one. Number one. My girlfriend is becoming a plus size. Oh my god. Andy, I didn't even get past the first thing. You're already laughing.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

Because I was just she's plus size now, dude.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

A plus size. She's becoming a plus size. Yeah, not just plus size. Um this is like an actual. Hey guys, I've been with my girl for a couple years now. I hate when people say like my girl. Like, I don't mind if it's girlfriend, but there's this one that we're like, hey, you want to meet my girl? Where's my girl at? You don't do you ever think about that?

SPEAKER_01 11:25

It's very high school-ish, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

Yeah, maybe that's what it is. Yeah. And other than gaining so much weight, I think she's I think she's great. But what do I do when I feel like I'm not attracted to her? I feel like she's just giving up on life, and maybe that's what really bothers me the most. She's not my 600-pound life. Oh my god. But I guess but I guess I'm just torn on what route I should take. I don't want to leave her, but being attracted to the one you love has some importance. Am I shallow?

SPEAKER_01 12:02

Maybe a little bit. I mean, what's that one kind of thing where it's like if you can love them at their best, can't you love them at their worst? Kind of thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:11

I mean, if it's isn't there something past worst? Ugly? There's gotta be something past worst. Like if you're not like specifically your wife, I'll I'll use mine. My future wife walks in the door and she's literally 600 pounds. I don't it's just I don't know. You'd have to like have that talk.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

Well, yeah, I guess I mean, if anything, it is a little shallow, and if you're not talking to them about it, like, hey, I'm noticing that you're kind of letting yourself go. We have to go through all these things, like buying you larger shirts, and that kind of makes me think a certain way or something. Like, I don't know. I'm trying not to be super mean about it because this guy's already being mean about it.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

No, you need to be mean. Okay. I'm just kidding. Well, yeah, you can be hard.

SPEAKER_01 12:54

Well, how like is this guy jacked? Like, is there something that you gotta compare her to? Like, are you good looking?

SPEAKER_02 13:00

Like, yeah, because if he's working out and stuff, I I guess he has somewhat of a say because he's yeah, taking care of himself. But he also says that it feels like she's giving up on life, which I can kind of see. Or like, you know, if somebody's like letting their fingernails grow too much, or they never comb their hair, it's just like yeah, they just look unkempt and not taken care of.

SPEAKER_01 13:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:27

So it's like I think it's more of the idea behind it rather than just like the physical appearance.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

Like they're giving up and it's just like depressing for you to be around them, maybe.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

Maybe. I think that's the one thing, yeah. If it's affecting your like, I guess your mental state or whatever too, because she's either depressed or something like that. I don't know, talk to her. Do you talk to her, dude?

SPEAKER_02 13:47

Do you like actually be like, hey, he's probably it's probably hard to be like, hey, I've noticed that you've gotten massive in the past couple. Well, come in cuter, be like, hey, my little, my little lovey dubby, chubby wubby, how are you? That doesn't work either. You wouldn't say chubby wubby. You wouldn't say it? No. I also wouldn't say, hey, you've gotten massive. I would I would go with like the classic, hey, we should go on a walk. Or if whatever they're eating, like if they're going out to eat, are they going to McDonald's? Or is it buying those smoothie? If it's a frosty, I'll definitely. That's what it is. It's a frosty. Yeah, not a smoothie.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Not a smoothie. My fault. Dude. Anyway, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

Uh where was I? Oh, I would go with like the classic we should go for a walk or cook them. Cook her something healthy.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

Some fish. You know, and not some Brussels sprouts. That sounds good. Fish and Brussels sprouts?

SPEAKER_02 14:50

Yeah, the other day I made homemade chia chicken tika masala.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

What's the tika masala I mean? I'm trying to.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

I don't know. But it's uh it's tomato sauce with heavy whipping cream with a bunch of spices, like cumin kind of.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

Do you like the fish fry or just like grilled the fish?

SPEAKER_02 15:09

It's chicken.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

Oh, wait, yeah, my fault. I was still thinking about it.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

Uh I just cut it up into pieces. You put it in a separate pan, cook that while the sauce is getting hot. Then you put like the curry powder on the chicken. Dang, dude. How are you single? I don't know. Come on, ladies. Look at it.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

This guy can cook, he works out.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

I can cook, I do my own laundry. I can clean. She doesn't have to do anything except for be hot. Fair. Fair point. Literally. And obviously, now like spit on the mic, dude. Don't be a jerk either, obviously. Yeah, don't be mean. Yeah, don't be a mean jerk.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

Caleb's a little bit of a softie. You can't be mean to him.

SPEAKER_02 15:45

Yeah, you can never be mean. I'm very, very offended by everything that you say of me. Yeah. Um, so best course of action is to get around a treadmill. Buy a treadmill. Bikes or something like do something fun. Yeah, she's still more active.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

If you're not active, then you're not really helping your case either, dude. That's all I'm gonna say too. Yeah, for real. Like if you're also kind of, you know, you got a little little belly, little what if he sent us in a picture and he's just giant? I would be so mad because then it's like, oh no, my girl's fat now, too. I'm not attracted to her. I'm like, look at you gotta look at yourself.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

Sometimes people do that though. Yeah, they're like, hey, you're getting kind of big when they're just like huge.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

That's kind of shame, like shameful, if I'm being honest. I would be so mad. Disgruntled.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

I would be disgruntled too.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

Yeah, crazy.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

All right, let's move on to number two, because that one's a little short and he you know he can figure that out.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

Yeah, you better talk to her, dude. Don't be stop being a douche. Number two!

SPEAKER_02 16:50

Yeah, I'm trying to bring it up.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

We should just sometimes record Stefan when he says his number things so that way you can just play them. I should. Number one. Number two.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

That's a good idea.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Number three.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

We've never gone to a number four. Never. So there's any more stories, guys. More stories. Well, I can always sometimes I look them up on Reddit, too. I can always bring more. It's just like, how long do you want them to be? Three hours. But people do like the longer episodes that are like 40 minutes, 50 minutes.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

Something to listen to, probably while they're driving or at work or something.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

Yeah. Uh yeah. Ew. Oh. Hi. I've been going back and forth. This is number two, by the way.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

No, number two.

SPEAKER_02 17:31

Back and forth whether to write in, but I feel like I need an outside perspective because I can't tell if I'm overreacting or ignoring something important. Yes. What if it was like my boyfriend's really fat? And he complains about me getting fat all the time. I've been with my boyfriend for over a little two years now. He's kind, funny, and genuinely one of the most generous people I've ever met. That's actually part of the problem. Oh. He loves to spend money on me, on his friends, on experiences, on random things he decides we need. Excuse me? In the moment. At first it felt exciting and romantic. He'd surprise me with weekend trips, expensive dinners, or gifts I never even hinted at. I thought, wow, I got lucky. She did. But go ahead. I was just gonna continue reading.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

Oh, I was gonna say, at least it's not like the gold digger situation. This sounds this just sounds like it's a like this guy maybe. Sounds like the opposite. Yeah, maybe he's gold giver. Gold giver. Yeah. He's got that. What's that uh the good no, not the good Samaritan. What am I thinking of? Um, where it's like I think it's like the whole Dave Ramsey thing, because it's sort of Christian-based when you're trying to do all your money stuff, and then it's like, oh, once you get to the final steps, you have enough, and then it also enough to even give, kind of thing. Like maybe he's got enough where he can give. Somebody's been listening to Dave Ramsey. I only follow I only followed the snowball effect thing. Nerd. Yeah. I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

But that's how I've been able to save more money. He has he does have some good points.

SPEAKER_01 19:09

There's some things I'm just like, eh, I don't know about that. Like paying every like paying everything in cash. I'm like, I don't have all that cash.

SPEAKER_02 19:16

Yeah, and also like my credit card gives me 3% on gas, 2% groceries, 1% on everything else.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

That's gotta be nice, especially right now with $5 a gallon. Yeah, well really kicking my neck off here.

SPEAKER_02 19:31

Yep, five dollars a gallon for no particular reason. Just kidding. We know the reason. But we don't get politics involved in this podcast. Not today, not ever. Yeah, because we're liberals. People's escape. Andy's liberal. I'm I'm not. I'm just like somewhere in the middle. Having a hard time picking sides.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

You're the you're the green, the green party.

SPEAKER_02 19:55

I'd rather be like a mix between the green and the tea party. Because the green party's super lame.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

Are they? That's why they never win, though. Yeah. They don't have good candidates.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Well, we need to do the other ones anymore. No. It seems.

unknown 20:09

Arco Rubio, we need you.

SPEAKER_02 20:11

Maybe. Maybe he'll be good. Who knows?

SPEAKER_01 20:15

Continue.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

But over time, it started to feel less like generosity and more like impulse. Oh. He doesn't budget. He doesn't really think long term. If he sees something he wants or thinks would be fun, he buys it. If we go out, he insists on paying. Even when I offer to split. And it's never just a casual night out. It turns into a $200 dinner or tickets to something we didn't plan for. He's also constantly upgrading things. New phone, new clothes, new gadgets. There's always something. Boy's probably rich or in debt. One of those two is going on. You can't just go up for $200 dinners all the time. Yeah. The thing is, he's not super wealthy. Oh. Oh he has a decent job, but nothing that really supports this kind of lifestyle. Or tried bringing it up gently and he brushes it off like money comes back, or I just want to enjoy life. And I get that to an extent. I don't want to be overly rigid or take the joy out of things, but I'm starting to worry about our future. I'm someone who saves, plans, and thinks ahead. I have goals like owning a home someday. Good luck. Having financial stability. Maybe even starting a family. More good luck.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

Also, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:38

And right now it feels like we're on completely different pages. It makes me anxious thinking about combining finances or building a life together when he treats money so casually. What's making this harder is that his Spending often involves me. So when I try to set boundaries, like suggesting cheaper plans or saying I don't want something expensive, he gets a little hurt. Like I'm rejecting his way of showing love.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

Maybe that's like his major love language, too, is like gift giving. You know? So and maybe it's also like one of those things like, oh, I have to have like give the best gifts to I don't necessarily believe in the love language.

SPEAKER_02 22:27

I don't either, but I really don't think gift giving or getting gifts is like one of them. It's just like dumb.

SPEAKER_01 22:34

I don't know, dude.

SPEAKER_02 22:35

I think it's my I mean it makes sense. Yeah, but like my love languages technically aren't getting gifts, but like when you would buy me things, I'd like them, like that foxtail alligator head. And the little mini Caleb. And the little mini Caleb. Yeah. Or if somebody buys me like an Arizona tea, it's like that's considered a gift. It's not like I'm like, oh, I'd feel I don't feel appreciated because gift giving isn't my love language. Uh but I do feel but the thing is I do feel appreciated, even though it's not my love language. That's why I just think it's right.

SPEAKER_01 23:08

Well, I don't think gift receiving is a love language. I think it's gift giving. Is it? Yeah, I don't think it's gift receiving. I think I think I think you're thinking of when they do the because you're when you receive uh um like compliments. What is it called?

SPEAKER_02 23:22

Um words of affirmation.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

Words of affirmation, which I find that one to be kind of lame.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

You're doing such a great job.

SPEAKER_01 23:29

Oh, you love me. I knew it. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 23:32

I think you just kind of like show love the day to day with just like things you do. And who's not gonna be appreciative of acts of service? Right. Like, oh, he did the dishes today, I hate him. Like who it's just like, I don't know. Yeah, I feel like it's just a bit of a stretch. I did the dishes today. Did you for once?

SPEAKER_01 23:49

What I I do it like almost every other day. Right.

SPEAKER_02 23:52

I'm just kidding, anyway. I don't I don't even know how often you guys do it. So okay, where was I? His way of showing love. I don't think he means to manipulate me, but it does create this weird dynamic where I feel guilty for wanting to be more practical. I love him, but I'm starting to feel like this just isn't a small quirk. It's a fundamental difference in values. I don't know if this is something people can realistically work through or if I'm setting myself up for a long-term stress. So I guess my question is, how do I figure out if this is a fixable issue versus a sign we're just not compatible? And if I do bring it up more seriously, how do I do it without making him feel judged or controlled? I'd really appreciate any advice because I feel stuck between what I feel and what I can realistically live with long term. I'm glad she came to two like experts.

SPEAKER_01 24:43

Yeah, dude, we're actually the best for this kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Because we have a lot of money and like we know how to take care of uh our women. Well, I don't have one of those, but almost we tried. Almost, yeah. Oh wow, dude. Somebody wants you back. I can't name names today. I'm not gonna dox anybody. I'm not Stefan. Oh, I doxed Stefan. Dang it. Well, you can tell me after.

SPEAKER_02 25:07

I bet we're gonna forget though.

SPEAKER_01 25:09

Oh, no, no, we're trying to make it better where we don't forget. Remember?

SPEAKER_02 25:13

Yes, and we did look up if geckos were a lizard last time, and they are, or a reptile, I mean.

SPEAKER_01 25:20

Oh, oh, yeah, because the difference between reptile and amphibian. Yeah, because like aren't frogs amphibians or something.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

Yeah, yeah. Because that was one of the questions that we had, and we actually looked it up after that.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

Well, anyway, as the experts are gonna tell you, uh, lady. I mean, overall, I think of it as maybe it can be an unhealthy thing, but again, I don't think you can look at it as it's like, oh, this is like super severe, and I think it's a problem for him. But even though it is, and I think it's one of those kind of things where you have this conversation of like security, you know. Obviously, there's the whole talk about women wanting security, and when a man actually has money when they're married and all that stuff, it it kind of gives him this sense of security because it's like, oh, we have money where we fall back on, because what if something breaks in the house?

SPEAKER_02 26:07

Or yeah, or what if an emergency happened?

SPEAKER_01 26:09

Yeah, an emergency, yeah. So I get that, and I think that's where maybe she's coming from. Yeah, and I think maybe lead the conversation with something like that like, hey, like I really want to spend the rest of my life with you, but can we talk about security and like like love and like how I would feel if we did this, like this kind of thing? You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 26:30

I would just tell him every time he thinks about spending money to invest it into like a stock or something.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Yeah, I get so scared of investing in stocks. I want to do it, I feel like I'm already too late for the trend.

SPEAKER_02 26:41

For the trend? What do you mean you're too late?

SPEAKER_01 26:43

I don't know. It's uh it uh and I don't understand stuff.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

You can always try like I didn't either, I lost money before. I gained money too. Oh, I just do like simple day trading stuff. So you just put a bunch in, and if it even moves up like 1% and you make like 200 bucks, you just pull it out or take the money, and then you just hold on to it.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

Yeah, because that's one of the things too, is that it's like something that you obviously need to keep putting into like 50 bucks and then another 50 bucks, and then one day you're well.

SPEAKER_02 27:10

That's if you want like long-term growth, you would just keep putting money in it and you'll watch it go down, it'll go up over the years. But day trading is where you just take like however much you have. So if you have 5,000 to lose, you just put 5,000 in. And then if it goes up 10, that's 500 bucks that you just made. And then you take the money out like right away. You just but most people get greedy, they're like, Oh, I made 500, that's gonna go back up, but then it just shoots down.

SPEAKER_01 27:39

Yeah, that's that's the biggest thing I'm worried about. I don't get greedy about it, but it's like I don't want to lose money, I don't have money to lose like that either. Yeah, well, nobody does.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

Yeah, um, I think she should just break up with him and kill him. That's the other route. So um, yeah, I don't know. It's something that you'd have to talk to. I I've never been in a situation like that where I'm dating somebody who's just like a big money spender, especially on me.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

I think that's the thing too, is that like I can be a money spender too, but like I'll definitely buy things for Bailey. But it's here's the thing how I do it is that I don't buy expensive things, I get multiple increments of things. So it's like, oh, I just bought Bailey, like, I don't know, a concrete mixer from Culver's. Oh, and then I'm coming back with getting her like some some some wait.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

Did you just say a concrete mixer?

SPEAKER_01 28:31

Yeah, that's what they call them. Concrete mixers.

SPEAKER_02 28:35

A concrete mixer?

SPEAKER_01 28:37

Yeah. Why? I don't know, because it's thick and stuff. Maybe they could put a little bit of concrete mix in there.

SPEAKER_02 28:45

Why does she need to make concrete?

SPEAKER_01 28:47

From culverts. It's ice cream.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

Oh, I it's okay, it's called that. Okay, I thought you meant like an actual thing that makes concrete. I was like, dude, are you gonna make we why? Are you planning on making like your driveway when you get a house? Or like what's going on? But they're just called that. It's like a uh it's like a shake almost. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah, it's like I didn't hear the culverse part.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

Oh, I thought you heard me say culverse.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

Yeah, you did, but I it went over my head. And I was like, wait, what?

SPEAKER_01 29:16

Anyway, continue next year anyway, but yeah, it's just I'll I'll do multiple increments in like one day kind of thing, and that's where she's like, ah you gotta stop spending money because I were realizing that you spent like 70 bucks today on getting this for me and then getting this other thing for me. I'm like, oh, okay. It's always the small things that add up. And they do, man. You can't, you know, you get five McChickens and you thought they were a dollar, and now they're like 375. Yeah, they went up. They really went up. They were never that good anyway.

SPEAKER_02 29:46

Whatever. No, they were too much. People always buy them.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

Well, when you get when see when I was a stoner, when you get McChickens, shoot, dog, you're living the dream.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

I never thought McChickens were that good.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

It was either McChickens for me or when I would get a burger from steak and shake and like a large thing of steak and shake burgers were good.

SPEAKER_02 30:07

Um, I'm trying to think. We used to, like before I even went met you guys, I used to, with my other friends, it would be like a McChicken with a McDouble, and you'd smash it together and eat it, and we called it a mix something, and I can't think of what it was. But it was good.

SPEAKER_01 30:26

McMonster. McMonster. McMonster. Mick McMaster. Anyway, have the conversation with him. You got like you at least gotta open up. If you really love him, it's always healthy to have those types of conversations. It's gonna help you out. If not, kill him, you know.

SPEAKER_02 30:41

But what if he does wants to keep spending money? Is it like time to break up?

SPEAKER_01 30:46

I think, yeah, if that's a boundary for you, and if it's something that you end up worrying about, and if it's nothing that really gets fixed, how long were they together? It said a couple of years, right? Yeah, I think yeah, and if it's one of those things where you just can't deal with it and you're scared, then it's I mean, it it is a safe thing that to end a relationship on something that that worries you, but make it nice and and like professional kind of thing, yeah. Let him down easy, yeah. And if he cries, he cries.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

Or you can I think sometimes you can call, call the Ramsey.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 31:18

Like double, like you both call and you can both be on the phone.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:22

And then she can tell her side of the story and he can say his side.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

Yeah. And if it's one of those things too where he's like, Well, but I love you and you deserve all these things. I'm like, Yeah, but I also deserve a house.

SPEAKER_00 31:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

That's true. Yeah. Yeah. And our future babies deserve food and diapers. And diapies, fresh diapies.

SPEAKER_02 31:47

Yeah, they could she could say something like, Hey, you should save your money and spend it on a big house for me. Boom.

unknown 31:55

Boom.

SPEAKER_02 31:56

Problem solved. All right, sister. You gotta figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 32:00

Yeah, good luck. Email us, let us know how we did. Yeah. And let us know how that conversation goes. We'll let you borrow one of our Dames Dave Ramsey books.

SPEAKER_02 32:12

Which I do not have, so it's gonna be one of yours. You have one?

SPEAKER_01 32:15

I have like three books. Nerd. They were Bailey's. Oh, that's okay. I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_02 32:20

As long as she doesn't care, I won't.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

No, she doesn't care.

SPEAKER_02 32:22

It's not her last name, so I won't, I won't have to like nobody will know anything. I won't I won't have to censor it, but if as long as you don't care, she doesn't care. Yeah. Um, it's just like other people when they come on the podcast. It's so funny because so good at doing it. He doesn't even realize that he does it half the time. Last time last time he's like, Oh my just dog somebody. It was so funny. Uh okay. Number three. Number three.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

Yeah, we gotta record him doing that. Yeah, we do.

SPEAKER_02 32:53

My girlfriend spends too much time on the lake in nature. Uh-oh. Hi, my name is Jesse. You think it's him? You think it's uh oh, I was gonna about to say his last name. And then I would have been the one that doxed now. Uh, and I've been with my girlfriend almost two years, planning on getting engaged. She has been into nature her whole life. She loves everything about it. Our first date included walking on a trail and her pointing out different sounds of birds, naming everyone. I found it endearing. Uh huh. She studied at college for a biology de a biology degree. Wow, I can't talk. But decided that the best education is just to be out there engaging with it and doesn't care if she gets paid. Oh. She has a job as a barista to make a little money. I don't mind that part, as I will be making enough money to support us both when we get married. Rich man. My problem is that she spends so much time out in the woods or at the lake. It's her passion, I know that, but I wish she'd spend more time with me. She always says I can I can go out there with her. I know she loves my company. She says when I'm there, it makes her studying and experience warmer. Thing thing is, I don't always want to go. Sometimes I want to do something else. What would you do in this situation? Well, tell her to call me because I'd be totally fine with having a girlfriend like that.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

That sounds like you're the boring one, dude. Not gonna lie. Like, be more fun.

SPEAKER_02 34:27

Like Yeah, because you can't tell her to spend I mean you can have a conversation, like, but she's like, what are the what are the things that he wants to do?

SPEAKER_01 34:35

You know, yeah. Like, are you just trying to like I guess go to a bar all the time or be at home and play video games or or like like what are what are your intentions, you know? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:47

Um yeah, call Caleb. Yeah, call me. I I mean I guess they can have that conversation, but like you can't expect her to give up who she is just to be with you, especially what I I'd give up, yeah. Simp simp for life. We're simps, we're simps for life, so we would we would we would get rid of all of our passions just so we can be with somebody. Yeah, give up on my music and everything. Yeah, just kidding, yeah, just kidding, just kidding. But you can't really expect her to change who she is, and if she is, she's not gonna be this pe the same person that you want to be with anyway. Yeah, if because you're taking her away from what she likes doing.

SPEAKER_01 35:28

Yeah, I'm sure that's like one of the things that he fell for her for, obviously.

SPEAKER_02 35:32

Yeah, and you knew that going in. Yeah. So, like, why is it becoming an issue now?

SPEAKER_01 35:36

And it's obvious that she loves when you're there.

SPEAKER_02 35:39

Yeah, so I don't know. I don't know what the problem is, dude.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

You need to unless you're a really like a serious homebody and whatever, then I mean be like, well, when you're done with your nature walks, come on over and we can watch a movie or something. I'll make dinner. I'll make din-din. The din-den. Dinner dinns. Dinner. You know? I I think it's just one of those things. Maybe he's just like the lazy one. It's like that one story with the other guy that was also lazy that didn't want to go on the hikes with that one girl and they ran into this haunted cavern or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 36:11

Yeah, but he just seemed he didn't seem lazy. He just seemed afraid of everything.

SPEAKER_01 36:15

Oh yeah. Were you there for that one, or was that that was that we re we read that one?

SPEAKER_02 36:20

Okay, so that was you and I. Okay. That's right, I got you.

SPEAKER_01 36:24

You gotta keep track about these things, dude.

SPEAKER_02 36:25

Dude, I'm doing so many these days. It's hard. I gotta bring back I forgot about the scary stories. I haven't done them in a couple of years.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

Gotta find some of those scary stories. Yeah. And then I'll you know what's crazy? I want to redo that scary song. Why? I don't know. It was a cool one. Okay, then I guess we'll No, actually, you know what I don't want to redo it. Forget it. You made me feel bad about it.

SPEAKER_02 36:50

Alright, anything else to say on this this the lake guy?

SPEAKER_01 36:54

Go to dude, go go on the trips with her. Like, get out of the house. Go go.

SPEAKER_02 36:59

Or just find someone else that wants to do those things.

SPEAKER_01 37:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:02

Because it sounds like he doesn't really want to go. Which is fine. He doesn't have to. Like he's not. But if he wants to be with this specific gal, yeah, he needs to either work with it or or not. Or like I said, he can't always have that conversation if she decides that she loves him more than the nature, but then it's like she'd have to kind of change who she is.

SPEAKER_01 37:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:27

And then it's like she now he's with someone who he didn't start dating. It's like a new person all of a sudden.

SPEAKER_01 37:33

Right. So and just don't do it as an ultimatum type thing.

SPEAKER_02 37:37

Yeah, it's either me or nature. Yeah, that's that never ends well.

SPEAKER_01 37:42

That never does end well. Somebody's gonna get hurt.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

Somebody is going to get hurt.

SPEAKER_01 37:49

Anyway. I think that's it. I think that's it. All right. How good we do. We did really good. We did so good. We did so good. We were just a love gurus, you know?

SPEAKER_02 37:58

Yeah, we just saved three people from turmoil.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:02

Alright, everybody. Thanks for listening. Shut up. I love you.