#10 The Cheatin' Doc

Caleb and Stefan join forces yet again to save relationships across America(hopefully world one day). A classic story about a doctor maybe being a cheater. Nothing new. But also a a dude with a weirdo fiancé who laughs and cackles like a banshee. Oh?

Send your stories to Digitalfirepodcast@gmail.com

Follow Stefan on twitch: https://m.twitch.tv/stefmastr_gaming?desktop-redirect=true

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Welcome back, everybody, to the Digital Fire podcast. It's Caleb with Stefan. Yeah!

SPEAKER_01 0:12

And it's time to crack one cold one with the boys. We have each have one today. We do. Caleb, you I believe you talked about it the last podcast. It was the Arizona mango tea, which is really good flavor. Mucho mango.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Fruit juice cocktail.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

It is a really good flavor.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

All natural.

SPEAKER_01 0:34

I like mango uh flavored stuff, but I would say, like, you know, what are those ones that um Meyer, the peaches? It's like Frederick's or something like that. It's the brand. The glass. Yeah, those peaches.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

It tastes like this.

SPEAKER_01 0:48

Yeah, dude, those peach halves are amazing. I bought like three of those. And I ate two of them in one day. I was like, dude, they're so good though. Stefan. But what's cool is I keep the jars. Like I have two of the jars at home.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

And then they are cool jars.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Yeah. I'm like, I keep two of them just in case like I either want to make like a Jack and Coke or something stupid like that. Or if like I just don't have a cup of beer. Well, I don't like put half and half in there. Can you imagine? Like half Jack, half Coke in a peach glass bowl thing. Yeah, you'd be toast. Dude, I'd be gone. Yeah, you'd probably die. I wouldn't even be able to play Call of Duty straight.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

I'd be like, all the buddies would wonder what you're doing.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

They would.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Hey, it keeps missing.

SPEAKER_01 1:38

Actually, you know what's funny is I have two of my buddies, and when we play Call of Duty together, um, when I've played with both of them that are they're kind of drunk at times, like just because it's the weekend or whatever, they are insane. Like they they're they write-chat-wise, no, not chat-wise, like gameplay-wise. Oh they like wipe out like one of my buddies, Jeff. He wiped out like 30 people in the lobby, and I was like, Holy crap, Jeff! And he goes, What? They're just there. I'm like, bro, how many like beers are you in? And he's like, six. Dang, I would die after six. And then Wilson, he's another guy, and he uh it was funny. He he's like, he goes, like, uh, he goes, dude, I don't want you to take this the wrong way. But he goes, I love you, bro. Like he confessed it like three times. Is he no, he's not okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

So he's not straight.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

Yeah, he's he's got a girl, but yeah, it was just funny because of how like plastered he was. Yeah. And then, but dude, it's the same thing. He was sniping people and just running up and gunning on them. Like, it was crazy. I was like, dang, dude. They should send those guys off to war. You know what? If I guarantee, if you sent like half the Call of Duty players to war, like we would win. Enemy AC130 above. You remember that? Modern Warfare 2? Was that Modern Warfare 2 or was that Modern Warfare 3? I don't remember. It was one of the Modern Warfare.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

I remember 3 was the last one I stopped.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

No, it was Modern Warfare 2019, because that was me, you and Andy. That was the PS4 one.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Yeah, that one had infected, right?

SPEAKER_01 3:22

Yeah, that one was infected, and then it had uh Warzone was the introduction for that game, which is still fun. It's just like I don't know. It's I said a lot I play as Rick Grimes as my operator. It like, and when you ping something like at the beginning, like when you're pinging like wherever you mean Rick Grimes is your operator, yeah. So your your character you play as, so they have battle passes like Fortnite, and one of the seasons was all Walking Dead themed. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_02 3:49

So Call of Duty did the same thing with like certain characters, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:52

So it was weird. So Michonne was a pack you could buy for 20 bucks, and she came with like a comic-styled like gun or whatever, and then uh Norman Reedus was a character you could unlock through the battle pass, and Rick was like the first character you could unlock. And he has like his uh what do you call it? Um, Terminus outfit where he's got like it's the brown coat with the fur or whatever. Um who was that again? Terminus was the the cannibal place in the walking dead. He has his terminus uh look, or Alexandria, I think. One of the two, Alexandria or Terminus, one of the two, and um, yeah, when you ping a spot on the map, and he says either got it, or he says, We're the ones who live, or he says, Name's Rick, Rick Grimes. Like, I'm like, what sense does that make? He doesn't even say that, does he?

SPEAKER_02 4:45

No, in the show, maybe he does. I don't remember.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

But every time he reloads his gun, too, he's like, dang it, I missed my revolver. And I'm just like, wow, what a funny cameo, you know. Yeah, but yeah, it's it's still fun. So I use him, and then there's Tim the Tapman, who's like a Twitch streamer who uh he he had his own pack um for Warzone because he was known for playing Warzone and World at uh World of Warcraft that game, that nerd game.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

That is a nerd game, that's like the OG nerd game. Yeah, that's where uh Leroy Jenkins comes from.

SPEAKER_00 5:21

Yeah. Oh, I guess we can go over here in the right corner. All right, let's do this. Leroy Jenkins. Oh my god, he just went in.

SPEAKER_01 5:32

You know, Phineas and Ferb did a reference to that. Did they really? Yeah, they did. Like he goes, uh, Belgi, give me a number crunch here. And he goes, according to my plan, you know, if we go this way and this way, and then uh I think Buford, the bully, he goes, All right, let's do this. Buford, whatever. And then Phineas is like, Oh my gosh, he just ran in. Stick to the plan. It was like really I was like, that's actually kind of cool. Phineas and Ferb is like chill like that, especially Dr. Duke.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

Is that show for nerds? Because I feel like only nerds would pick up on that reference.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

No, it's I mean, it's a kid show for Disney.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

Yeah, I know it's a kid show, but like, would any kids even get that reference?

SPEAKER_01 6:10

They probably would, because Leroy Jenkins, wow, I can't even talk. Leroy Jenkins, like Jesse, my nephew, he knows Leroy Jenkins. Oh, wow. Yeah, so and then I love Dr. Doof and Schmurtz. Ah, Perry the Platypus. A platypus? Puts on the hat. Perry the platypus.

SPEAKER_00 6:33

He's so stupid. And then they had a movie.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Yeah, he's like a detective. They made a movie where they had two universes of Dr. Doofenschmurtz. They had the one that we know and the one that's like evil, evil. And then he goes, now tell me, what do you see here? And then he goes, a platypus. And he goes, Good. Now what do you see here? Perry the platypus. And then he takes it off and he goes, Where'd Perry go? And he goes, No wonder we like failed ruling the universe.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

I love it when stuff like that happens. Oh it's a nice little rant there for an intro.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

Yeah, I guess I'm gonna have to catch up on my Phineas and Ferb lore.

SPEAKER_01 7:11

Yep, we're gonna have to marathon it. Just like all 11 seasons of The Walking Dead.

SPEAKER_02 7:16

How many seasons is there at Phineas and Ferb?

SPEAKER_01 7:18

There's a bit. I don't think it's like anything like SpongeBob where it's like season 36 or something like that, but like it's up there. Yeah. And then they made a movie to like conclude everything. And then they did a weird spin-off series, which was weird. I think it was like Newton's Law or something like that. And it's like in the same art style as Phineas and Ferb, and Dr. Doof and Schmerz is there. So they're like, oh, crossover. I forget or Murphy's Law, that's what it's called. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:47

So what do you have for us today, Caleb? Well, we have some stories, none of them are spooky. Oh they're just a regular old dating, which is fine.

SPEAKER_01 7:57

Yeah, we'll make them spooky.

SPEAKER_02 7:58

You know, we'll change them up every once in a while. Um but before we read them, we do have to. Oh, taking a drink. We can't do the thing with it.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

I gotta warm up the vocal cords so we can say it's time to jump in.

SPEAKER_02 8:15

Oops, wrong button. There we go. That was great. Man, I I I got I gotta get my glasses because that says crickets, and next to it is chimes, and I read crickets as chimes because I saw the C. Classic, classic mistake. Number one, my sister has been seeing this guy now for what I believe is close to a year. He's going for a metal medical degree and currently working on getting his master's. They met while both out on a run in the park. He's a sweet guy and also ambitious, but I think his ambition and hard work has gone to his head. Lately he's been texting me out of the blue and asking sometimes personal things. He has even asked to meet up for coffee on occasions. Ooh. Ooh, drama.

SPEAKER_00 9:05

I can tell what kind of story this is going through.

SPEAKER_02 9:09

I want to point out that other than that, there has been no inappropriate gestures in a sense. However, whatever. However, I do find it overall inappropriate that he's texting me and asking me out. Do I tell my sis about this or just keep turning him down?

SPEAKER_01 9:28

Now to find asking out, because if he's just asking to go out for coffee, like maybe he just wants to talk, be a friend. That's what I think, because it's not like if okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

Like get to know her as like get to know the family more.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

Yeah, like get to know the family more, or just like what he said is like he's very ambitious and everything like that, and whatever, but maybe some stuff's getting to him, and so he wants to talk about it. It's maybe something platonic, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 9:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

But at the same time, again, there's not that much context other than he's asking me for like a well that might that might just be all the context.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

He might he might just be asking out for coffee.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

Like, we don't know if is is it like is it like he's cheating on like his sissaboo?

SPEAKER_02 10:15

Yeah, but also doctors and nurses can be known for cheating.

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Yeah, no kidding.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

It's like one of the number one.

SPEAKER_01 10:23

They're probably they're probably more toxic than Tinder. You think so? Probably. Why? Like, I don't know. They're just like, because well, think about it. Like, you could just be like a butt surgeon and get like 30 million dollars a year because you just know everything about buttons.

SPEAKER_02 10:41

Out of all the doctors, you could have chosen a butt surgeon. And I bet they're called that too.

SPEAKER_01 10:47

Yeah, but probably. I'm the cheek specialist. Yeah, but like that's how it is, though, is they they make like 30 million dollars a year or something like that because they know everything about that, and then it's like, oh, well, you work at McDonald's, so I don't need you anymore. And then they go for another nurse or something like that that like you know, she treats children or something like that, or you know, pediatrician, that's what they're called. Yeah, so the children doctor, yeah. The children doctor. So I mean, I guess if it's like maybe it's frequent, is what it sounds like. It's too frequent, like a daily occurrence or something like that, or a weekly occurrence, even.

SPEAKER_02 11:24

Yeah, and I don't know, especially for me, I'm not gonna if my brother is dating someone, I'm not gonna ask her out for coffee to get to know her. I'll just get to know her at like family gatherings.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

Right, or just like, hey, me and my sister are going shopping, like, do you want to come with? And like he goes with or something like that. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 11:41

Yeah, where it's a group thing. Yeah, and I also wouldn't text them either. Like, I d I have no need to text them anything unless it's like, hey, you want to plan a surprise party for my my brother who you're dating, or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

Right, because I mean, how I got to know Annika, my sister's um boyfriend, well, now husband, Caleb. He um he we met mainly through like family gatherings and stuff like that, because she was like, Oh yeah, this is my uh my fiance, Caleb, or whatever, and um, or this is my boyfriend, Caleb, whatever. And we we got to know him through there, and then there were other times where like Annika would want to go out for coffee with me or something like that. She'd be like, Yeah, I haven't seen you in like a few months. Like, how's it going? And you mind if I bring Caleb? I was like, nah, dude, bring him. That's all good. So I would get to know Caleb that way too, or Caleb would just be like, Hey, do you and John want to come out for a bonfire or something like that? And I'd be like, Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

Yeah, but that's different because you guys are all guys. Yeah. If it was like, if you were Annika's sister, oh yeah, I see. Right, it would be a little different if he was asking you to hang out.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

I if it was a one-on-one, yeah, that's what's happening there. Yeah, I would find that a little weird, but depending if he's making any moves on me at that point, if I'm the sister, like then I would be like, okay, clearly he's thinking about other ulterior, like, you know, motives and stuff. So, sis, he's cheating on you, kind of thing, at that point, or thinking about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:06

So I would say I don't understand why people cheat with family members. It is weird because like and it's more common than like just than we realize.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

Like a regular cheating, I guess. If I don't even know if there's such a thing as a regular cheating.

SPEAKER_02 13:21

I don't know if it's more common than that, but it's just like more common than I would think because there's this one guy that I listen to on YouTube who's like a I think he's like a relationship therapist, doctor, or something. I don't know exactly. But people call in frequently with like, oh, my sister cheated on me with my brother or something. Or my sister's sister cheated on me with my brother. Like my my sister from Alabama stuff. Yeah, right. Alabama. No, like my sister slept with my husband, is what I meant to say. Stuff like that. Like, why do people do that? Like, why would you choose someone so close? Like the sister, if you do anything wrong as the husband, that sister can blackmail you like crazy. Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

And then it's like, yeah, because it sounds bad, but I'm not insinuating anything. But it'd be better to cheat on somebody that you don't know entirely.

SPEAKER_02 14:18

So basically you're saying it's okay to cheat.

SPEAKER_01 14:19

No, it's Stefan's a bad person. Yeah, I am. Cancel me right now. But so, okay, so her question is it what should I do? I guess.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

Um Well, technically it was like, should I tell my sister?

SPEAKER_01 14:31

Or I would just like maybe I wouldn't say like because you don't know what the whole thing is because you don't know if he's got like again different motives or not. I would say, in this case, maybe talk to her and be like, hey, your guy is like talking to me a lot, and I want to know what's going on, if there's something between you guys that's happening behind closed doors, or are you guys like breaking up and he's trying to figure out like what's going on or like what's happening? Like, I won't say anything to him, you know, if it's like one of those things, yeah. But like be like, hey, um, yeah, I just want to know what's going on because he's like reaching out to me a lot, like he's asking me to like go out for coffee or something, so I don't know if there's something he may be doing, or if there's something wrong with your guys' relationship, and he's trying to figure out some stuff. So, like, do you want me to do this and see if I can figure out some information? Or you know, because they're sisters are like that, yeah. So, like, versus like if it was like me and my brother, like, oh yeah, go find out if like somebody's cheating on me, kind of thing, and I'm like, Roger.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

Right. Or just ask him, like, can I ask why you're right, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

If you want to be direct, like asking me, I don't know how ballsy she is, but like you know, just be straightforward and be like, yeah, like exactly what you're saying, is be like, yeah, so how do you why are you asking me out all the time?

SPEAKER_00 15:48

Why why is this consistent thing?

SPEAKER_01 15:51

Yeah, weird.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

Stop. Yeah, so basically she's screwed. There's nothing she can do. Yep. So give up. Yep. Shall we move on to number two?

SPEAKER_03 16:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

My name is Derek. Not gonna say their last name because I want to dox people. We don't we know you do, and I'm absolutely in love with my fiance. Wow. We do everything together, like riding bikes and going to the zoo.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

Like a fiance should, but yeah, yeah, I know exactly.

SPEAKER_02 16:21

We especially like the gorilla exhibit. This is all stuff. Why do you like that one? I don't know, because I think about hirambe every time I hear about a gorilla. That's what made the world turn weird after he died.

SPEAKER_01 16:35

After he died, everything just went to crap.

SPEAKER_02 16:38

Yeah, it did.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Poor harambe.

SPEAKER_02 16:40

Poor harambe. But yeah, back to like the we do everything together, like riding bikes, obviously. You do everything together, your fiancés. Right. Like just nothing over the top. Like, thanks for that unnecessary detail.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

We go to Cancun together.

SPEAKER_02 16:53

We go on vacations together. Tahiti. We go on dates together. Tahiti. Oh. I went.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

Tahiti's made up, right? No, Tahiti's a real place. I think. I want to say. Maybe kinda sorta, maybe. It's definitely maybe probably definitely maybe probably kinda sorta for sure. Real.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

Let me see. Because it's in Red Dead too, right?

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

They say they're gonna go to Tahiti, but I'm pretty sure Tahiti's a real place.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

It's just I don't think people just think of the first place is Tahiti to go to.

SPEAKER_02 17:29

Yeah, it is Tahiti. It is a real place. It's an island in French Polynesia. The only reason why I thought it was fake is because all the states in Red Dead are fake names. Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Well, we've just lost five followers because of how stupid we is Tahiti a real place.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

They're just like, wow. Yeah. So we're gonna be a little bit more. Well, like Guorma's fake, and that's the island you go to. That's not a real country. That's why it's like, why is there some fake countries in that game? But then also. Oh, and people never been there. People never been there. So we don't know if it's real. We don't know. And there's some like weird dictator there that we don't know about. Just like shooting cowboys for no reason. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

It's like, oh Dutch! He's red.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

I love side note real quick. I love the videos of Red Dead Redemption 2 where they're like, I'm gonna quit playing Red Dead Redemption 2. And it shows like the part where Arthur first coughs and they pause it immediately.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

Like it's just like you're and then just yeah, once you once you know when it happens, you're just like crap. Spoiler alert, by the way, but oh well.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

The song at the end. It is a good song.

SPEAKER_02 18:50

Oh, the da. The one where he's like riding to the the camp. It's like Arthur's last ride or whatever. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

And he's like, yeah. Or he goes, yeah. Like really sad.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Yeah. Anyway.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

And then it shows all like, or like if depending on your honor, you'll hear like old memories that come up of like people complimenting you and saying good things about you.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Like versus like somebody saying, like, you're trash, Arthur. Yeah. Learn it.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

Back to it. We're gonna move on. Um, so these freaks love each other. Yeah. Which usually happens with fiancés. Of course. On top of that, she looks amazing, hourglass figure, and could win the next Miss America.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Wow. Awesome. I'm so glad you're complimenting each other because you're clearly in love.

SPEAKER_02 19:40

She cooks me delicious meals for dinner and makes the most savory hoagies for lunch. Hoagies? Yeah, you don't know what a hoagie is? What is a hoagie? It's basically like a sub. I think it's just I think it is a sub, but in different parts of the country they call them hoagies.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

Oh, it's like how they call like soda pop in the south, or or no, we call it pop up here, but then in the south they call it soda.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

Soda, and then I think in Texas they call it Coke.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Yeah, it's just Coke, regardless if it's like a Pepsi or a Sprite or anything. Just give me a Coke.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

Yeah. Which is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

It is.

SPEAKER_02 20:11

I love her family more than anything, but honestly, man, her cackle is subhuman. I find myself during late nights debating on whether or not I want to go out and buy milk and then become the next missing person on that milk carton.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

What does she have a laugh of a Decepticon? Which is like freaking uh who's the sound? Megatron is like I don't know. Maybe she sounds like that. That'd be awful.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

That'd be creepy. You favor me yet again, Star Scream. Like she just whispers that in her sleep, like she's a Decepticon.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

Or do I stay with her until the end of time? I really love her, but is it worth having to listen to this forever? Probably should have figured that out before you get it.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

You know what they need to do? They need to send sound clips and pictures now on Red. Because it's just like, how are we supposed to decipher of what it sounds like?

SPEAKER_02 21:03

Or this guy's ready to break off his engagement due to a laugh? It's gotta be bad then.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

I mean, I would say depending on how bad.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

If it's like a tea kettle, like maybe when he was dating her because he wasn't around her as much, I didn't think about it. But since he got engaged and probably spending more time now he's starting to notice it, and it's like, man, I don't know. Right. Which is I don't know. Would you ever leave somebody if they had a really horrible laugh? Like I'm talking bad.

SPEAKER_03 21:30

Like I can or something.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

Or like the like those ones. Yeah. Oh, I would ooh, that'd be a tough one. I mean, I probably here's my thing in the realistic sense of things, probably not, because it's like I love the person, you know what I mean, at that point, regardless of their laugh. Because if I'm gonna get like turned off by a laugh like from the whole relationship, then it's just like, okay, that's It's not like they have a bad habit of like, I don't know, cooking with their feet on an iron cast, you know, skillet of bacon and eggs and serving it to me with their foot every morning or something. Like I'm just saying some stupid situation, yeah just to make a point. But like, you know what I mean? Like, a laugh isn't gonna do it for me. Now, again, even if it's a like that thing, I'm like, I would even find it funny.

SPEAKER_02 22:31

Yeah, it would be kind of funny, but it'd also be like kind of embarrassing sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

It would be during certain occasions.

SPEAKER_02 22:38

Like, if if I'm seeing like Shane Gillis and I take her Oh my goodness, and then in the audience, you just hear that and he'd be looking at the dude.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

We'd be on TV though, yeah. He'd say, What the heck was that?

SPEAKER_01 22:55

I love Shane Gillis.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

Really?

SPEAKER_01 22:57

Because you never ever talk about no, I'm not like a super fan, but I see his stuff on like TikTok or whatever. He's funny. Him and Theo are Theo is amazing. Theo is pretty funny. I do. I love the uh the scene with Bobby, like they were on the Bad Friends podcast, and uh there's a scene where he goes, All right, how about you pretend to be my dad, Theo, and whatever, and then uh I'm I'm your son, and he goes, All right, and then he's like, Hey dad, and then he goes, Bobby, because Bobby's Asian, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:27

And then he starts laughing, he goes, You don't have to have an Asian accent.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

Like it's just funny, but uh yeah, I don't think a laugh would be like a turn off or anything like that. Like, again, depending on how real it would have to be something pretty extreme to be like, yo, babe, we gotta talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

But if she's got the donkey laugh, you're staying with her.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

I would.

SPEAKER_02 23:52

Well, that's what you were doing, weren't you? Kinda like yeah. I think I think that's gotta be one of the worst laughs. So if you're staying with her after that, I think you're probably good.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Oh, I've heard worse.

SPEAKER_02 24:02

On laughs. Oh, really?

SPEAKER_01 24:03

Yeah, at work, I can tell you there's like two people that laugh, and I hate it. I hate it when I hear them laugh. I hate their voice afterward, too, for the rest of the day.

SPEAKER_02 24:12

I hope they don't listen to this. They don't. They're old, they're like in their 60s or 70s. Now they now everyone knows who you're talking about. Now they do. Oh, Stefan. I think he should leave her. I mean he should kill her. Dang, Jeffrey Dahmer.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

Um I would say stay, but then again.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

Like maybe wear ear muffs when you go out or something. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

Yeah, just pretend you're on a jog, like listening to music, and then or just don't be funny. Yeah, yeah. But you could just make her not laugh. Just be like the guy from that one story with like the haunted house or whatever. And like where he's just oh, most of it in the wind. Ha ha ha ha. Bueller.

SPEAKER_02 24:52

Oh, the one who went in the cabin and freaked out about everything. Yeah, that one. Bueller.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

Yeah, Bueller. Yeah. Bueller. That dude had no personality, so just don't have a personality then.

SPEAKER_02 25:03

Yeah, you could do that. Go the rest of your life with no personality.

SPEAKER_01 25:07

No laughing, no crying, no nothing. Just be a funny TV shows. Just be a robot. Yes. Straight up.

SPEAKER_02 25:13

Yeah. So that's our suggestion. Be a robot. Be a robot.

SPEAKER_01 25:16

Don't be funny. Shut up.

SPEAKER_02 25:22

All right. Are we ready for number three? This one's a little bit shorter, a little bit easier. Are dating apps worth it? Is the first question. No.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

The problem solved.

SPEAKER_02 25:33

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:34

Thanks guys for listening. Now, um $30 a month to say hi to somebody for them to ghost you? That's crazy. Well. And then paying for the boost so that way you get more hits and everything like that. And then that's a scam. Yeah, and then paying another $5. Yeah, like I'm sorry. I think you know what's funny is I think Tinder is probably the only somewhat successful one. Because Bumble, I hate. Bumble sucks. Hinge is like could be good, but it's just not anymore. Facebook is like whatever. It's just basically like, oh, let me check somebody's Facebook profile or whatever. That's about it.

SPEAKER_02 26:08

And then Tinder is is the best one because there's a bigger user base, I think. I think more people have Tinder.

SPEAKER_01 26:15

Yeah, they have Tinder, and then obviously if you're swinging for the same team, there's Grindr. But at but like, you know what I mean? Like there's those. Because I mean, okay, so I do have some friends that are, you know, they're gay, and they have they've used Grinder, and they're like, yeah, it's like just like Tinder, but you know, for gays or whatever. And I'm like, oh well, I guess if it works, it works for you, but I'll keep using Tinder, you know. But I haven't had Tinder in like maybe a year and a half, two years. Like I really didn't use it all that much. I just used it for like just scoping out stuff.

SPEAKER_02 26:51

I go on it every once in a while. It's it's not really like not anything extravagant. Yeah, it's it's difficult.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

Like you'll get matches, but then after that it's just a hit or miss if they're gonna talk to you or not. Yup. Yup. It's just an easy way to like like having a like uh escape route to like, oh, I don't like you, swipe, or just delete the conversation versus like one thing. I think just to tie in with this guy of speed dating, or not speed dating, but that is the suggestion, is are apps worth it? No, but he could always try speed dating.

SPEAKER_02 27:25

What's speed dating?

SPEAKER_01 27:27

It's like where you like meet up somewhere, like you can meet at a restaurant or like a club or something. Like uh what do they have on Alpine? It's like a golf club meetup where it's like you go in there, there's like food, and there's like a floor where you can dance and do stuff. Like just like a little, it's like a pub, I guess you could say, but not really like with you know, not like a pub pub. Yeah, but it's like a little meetup, and then it's like you have maybe like five minutes with each person to like get to know them and ask them questions, and then it's really there's things like that.

SPEAKER_02 27:55

Yeah, I kind of want to go.

SPEAKER_01 27:56

There's still things like that, but I don't know how long you actually sit down with the person. But then at the end of the day, like you get to like choose who you like and whatever. And if you feel like, yeah, like here's the check mark, like I really like this person, and then if you didn't, you didn't, but it's like something to just get out there versus a dating app. I thought about it too, but I don't know where you would go essentially. We can Google it, yeah. We could probably Google it, but then forget about it later after the podcast. Yeah, because that's what we always do.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

We always, yeah, we can do that.

SPEAKER_01 28:26

You remember, you know what's funny too is I actually listened to the last podcast, me and you did with the lizard people. Yeah. And we talked about if a uh what is it, a gecko is an amphibian or not.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

And I just I never neither, which we're going to after this one.

SPEAKER_01 28:42

Absolutely, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 28:44

You can't watch anyway. But we really should look up speed dating.

SPEAKER_00 28:49

Man, we sound like amphibians.

SPEAKER_02 28:52

Yes. Boy, we sound like losers. Yeah, we do. Definitely incels date us, please. Yes, please. Uh he continues with I'm a 25-year-old male on Tinder and Hinge. I tend to get matches about a couple days, so not too about a couple a day, so not too bad. However, it seems as if they never go anywhere. I was talking to one girl and after a couple weeks asked if she wanted to go out, and then she said she just wanted to be friends.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

So no. Yeah. Because that's how every female responds to I don't like you.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

Yeah, basically. Is I just want to be friends. It's like their nice way of saying I don't like you anymore.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

I at that point, just you know what the women should just do now, just be blunt. Literally just be like, I don't like you that way.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

Women are generally too nice. They need to be honest. Obviously, there's some that are blunt.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

Yeah, there's some that are blunt, but they're more like tomboys.

SPEAKER_02 29:45

Yeah, but also there's always like the guy, other guys in the world that ruined it where it's like, hey, I don't really want to go on a date with you. Well, why don't you want to go on a date with me?

SPEAKER_01 29:52

Yeah, like they're they're like why? What's wrong?

SPEAKER_02 29:54

Yeah, like what's wrong with me? What did I do with you? Was it something I said? Yeah. Do you think I'm ugly?

SPEAKER_01 29:59

Is it my eyebrow? Is it my unibrow?

SPEAKER_00 30:02

Is it my unibrow?

SPEAKER_01 30:03

Like, was my fart too stinky?

SPEAKER_02 30:10

Another one had a date set with me but never showed up. Am I better off taking my chances in real life? He asks.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

Back to the speed dating. I would say try that over the dating apps because for one, we don't know how much this guy's paying. He could be paying for the premium of Tinder, which I think is like what? $130 a month? I think the like the Tinder gold. It's like a I think it's like a hundred.

SPEAKER_02 30:35

I believe is like $30 a month, but there's like I almost want to get it now to see. We'll also do that after we're gonna do that. Yeah, we will.

SPEAKER_01 30:43

We got three things. Oh man, we gotta cross it off our list.

SPEAKER_02 30:46

Actually, actually, while you're talking, I'm gonna look up Tinder Black, how much that is a month. Yeah, because I'm like platinum, I mean.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

It's ridiculous on how much these dating apps like because I remember when there were like dating apps that were free 100%. Like there was match.com, like when that first happened, is like you could just talk to people for free. And it was like really cool. So I did that, and then there was like Meet Me, I think was another one. Um, but yeah, I I did a couple of those dating apps, and I thought like people were pretty chill, and then like, yeah, I got a couple hits. Like, I had this girl named Meredith and then Megan, um, which obviously both didn't work out. Uh, Meredith is the only one I ever met in person, and then Megan ended up being a chick that was like, Well, I'm I'm like seeing five other guys right now, but I'm planning on having you all meet up for a dinner, and then at the end of the day, after we're all like talking and conversating or whatever, um, I'm gonna decide which one I want to go out with. And I'm like, No, like that's not happening. I'm not if you're dating five other guys, including me, I if I'm an option, you better pick somebody else. Yeah, because I'm not an option.

SPEAKER_02 31:50

Stick it to them, Stefan.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

I did. I literally told her that. She goes, Oh, well, I thought we were really hitting it off. I'm like, we were, until you mentioned that.

SPEAKER_02 31:57

Anyway, it can cost like upwards of $400 a year. Like, I know I know tender gold is like $40 a month. Yeah. And then there's an even better one that's platinum.

SPEAKER_01 32:11

So $400 a year versus paying $40 a month, it'd be cheaper to do the $400 a year than it would be to do $40 a month. Yeah, but who who's gonna drop wouldn't it? $40 40 times $12? What is that? That's that's $480. $480. Oh, so it's like $100 almost difference then.

SPEAKER_02 32:31

Yeah, but still. It's cheaper to do the year, yeah. Usually that's how it is. The year plan is cheaper because you get the coughs up $400.

SPEAKER_01 32:38

There's some people that can. They can cough up $400 like it's nothing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

I wouldn't. For Tinder, especially not around here.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

Right. And I'm like, I don't care if I get unlimited everything at that point. I'm like, it's not worth it. Like, that just sounds like it's just a waste of money. Because then you're gonna forget about it. You'd have to be desperate in order to like do that kind of crap. Like $400 a year, let alone pay like I think there's some places that like I think Bumble does it. It's like $12 a week. So you're paying like what, that's $48 a month. So almost a $50. Yeah. So I'm like, that's crazy. Like, cause why am I gonna just have a week's like sure, if you're only using it for a week, $12 may be fine for you. You know what I mean? Yeah, but like if you're planning on just doing this, like recurringly, of just like then, yeah, pay for the year, but at the same time, like that's expensive. $48 for a month, and then you just keep piling it up, and it's like, bro, like you're wasting money at that point. You're wasting more money than the average person wastes to go to McDonald's and get a Big Mac. A Big Mac's like $10 now, pretty much.

SPEAKER_02 33:46

Which one's worse, Big Mac or Tinder?

SPEAKER_01 33:49

At least a Big Mac doesn't leave you depressed.

SPEAKER_02 33:53

Well, I can.

SPEAKER_01 33:55

You can, but you eat your sorrows away. You know what I mean? Yeah. Versus Tinder, you're like, oh crap, I spent 12 bucks. And nobody likes me. And nobody likes me, and they kick the little pebble, and then they're really.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

Yeah, so I think bro is better off taking his chances in real life.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

Yeah, take your chances whether you meet the chick or whatever, like organically, or if you meet them, like you could again, like speed dating. Speed dating, I think would be fun to do. Um, or heck, you could even just be like stupid and just go to like a coffee stop, a coffee stop, a coffee shop, and like just sit down, like bring a laptop, look stupid, you know, make it look like you're a writer or something like that, and then you never know. A girl like could come up to you after ordering her like Starbucks latte or whatever, and then just be like, Hey, uh, just out of curiosity, what are you doing? And then you're like, Oh, I'm I'm writing a novel about my autobiography, and then and then you just there you go, there's your conversation. Hi, my name's Mark, and then like, hi, my name's Susan, and then they meet up Mark and Susan.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

What is this 1950? I don't know. Like, they meet up, it could click, you never know. Yeah, yeah, so I'm just saying, like, in a hypothetical situation, I'm gonna try that 1950.

SPEAKER_02 35:18

I'm gonna go to the coffee shop with my laptop and hopefully Susan comes up and approaches me. Susan.

SPEAKER_01 35:26

Good old Susan, classic Susan. Oh my gosh. What if she had like the monster from Monsters Inc. Like, what's her name? Like that, I'm watching you, Wazowski. I forget her name.

SPEAKER_02 35:38

Oh, she was the slug. Yeah, I know. I don't remember what her name was either, but yeah, there's no way.

SPEAKER_01 35:43

If she just had that voice, like she was drop dead gorgeous, but then had that voice. That'd be hard. That would be. Oh my gosh, could you imagine like saying your vows at like the thing? Tell them dance do us part.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

Do you do you, Susan, take Caleb to be your waffling wedded husband? I do. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 36:14

Yeah, I don't know about that. That was good. That was. I don't know if I could do that though. No, I wouldn't. Oh my gosh. I'd leave. If she approached me with that voice, I'd probably just I'd run. Yeah. Yeah. No kidding. I wouldn't even say anything, just close my laptop and get out of there. Oop.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

We'd almost destroy the mic.

SPEAKER_01 36:36

Could you imagine just everything happened after you banged your hand on that? It's just like all the cords come disconnected, the power in the apartment goes off.

SPEAKER_02 36:45

The castle catches on fire.

SPEAKER_01 36:46

The castle catches on fire, the cars are like freaking swerving and crashing just from that one instant. It's like, what do you what do you the butterfly effect? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:57

It's just like that. Just a chain of reactions. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 37:03

All right. Well, I think that does it in for us that this week, folks. So thanks for listening. Shut up. I love you.

SPEAKER_00 37:09

Oh, little house.